Ha Ha Tranny Jokes are So Funny! (To Privileged Rich White Gay Men)

So everyone favorite gay celebrity, Neil Patrick Harris, is guest-hosting in what is now Kelly Ripa's morning show until Regis is permanently replaced. During the opening banter segments, he offhandedly makes a stunningly disrespectful transphobic joke, about sounding like a "tranny" by DEEPENING his voice. Because AHAHAHA!!! Trannies are men in dresses amirite? Ohhhhhh that's so hilarious!

Well, unless of course you're one of the millions of trans women who will face verbal and physical abuse today just for leaving the house trying to be themselves. We don't find dehumanizing humour that funny.

Now of course we all know that if NPH had made a joke about sounding like a black men and then done a "Sho 'nuff Massah, I shines it up reel gud fuh you!" voice, the media, the NAACP, all sorts of people would be ripping NPH to shreds for such blatant bigotry. But we're just trannies, it's still okay to tell hateful, hurtful dehumanizing jokes about us. We need to lighten up you tell us. Don't be so damn sensitive you tell us. Learn to laugh and take a fucking joke you tell us.

We hear such condescending dismissals a lot. Sadly we get most of it from white gay men.

Popular and widely read Gay Blogger Joe Jervis of Joe.My.God has a pretty good track record for being supportive and respectful of trans issues. He's posted positive articles, deleted blatantly transphobic comments, and generally been a decent guy to trans folk.

Well, that is until trans activists targeted Dan Savage. Dan Savage is a popular influential wealthy white gay advice columnist with, (I'm sorry, suck it the fuck up, it's the fucking TRUTH), a long documented history of transphobic bullshit.

When trans activists glitter-bombed him twice, out of very justifiable anger, well, suddenly Joe changed. He stopped deleting blatantly anti-trans bigotry from the comments on his blog, and according to his blog entry about the afore-mentioned NPH slur, now apparently finds it perfectly okay to be condescending and dismissive of trans people when a white affluent gay celebrity makes a tasteless, unfunny, hurtful and casually dangerous transphobic joke.

I expect the bullshit that you see in the comments on his blog. I'm used to Joe's readers showing nti-trans bias. The majority of his commenters seem to think the following as a rule.

1) It's just a joke, we shouldn't take it so seriously.
2) We're oversensitive crybabies blowing things out of proportion.
3) We should focus only on the religious right and not attack our gay "allies".

Let's answer those one by one shall we?

1) No it is NOT "just a joke". Transphobic jokes of that nature are told purely at our expense. Trans people themselves are the punchline. Jokes like that feed off of the worst and most-reinforced negative trans stereotypes. When the ONLY point of a joke is to emphasize how weird and different and freakish someone is, it's not comedy, it's negative affirnation of the stereotypes that get us beaten up or murdered just for existing. I know, I've been hospitalized by teenagers shouting tranny and other lovely things at me as they bet me.

2) Trans women, especially trans women of colour, get beaten up, bashed and outright murdered at near ten times the rate of gay men. So tell me how, knowing this, we're blowing things out of proportion? And yet a gay man getting beaten up or killed will always be widely and extensively covered by gay media, while most trans assaults and murders barely get a mnention in their own local news, let alone much notice online.

3) We focus on the religious right AND our gay "allies", because the bulk of gay activists have repeatedly proven they simply DO NOT GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT US.

There are boatloads of evidence of this. In attempting to get ENDA passed, gay activists kept cutting more and more trans-inclusive clauses from the bill, until we were essentially erased from it entirely. They claimed this was to make the bill easier to get passed, and that they'd come back for us. But it was really just throwing us under the bus. Once gays have equal rights in every aspect, they won't care about helping us. Most gay men look down on us anyway. They view us a lesser because we've happily thrown away the masculinity they so cherish.

There are so many fights going on across the USA to push for gaty marriage, gay adoption, gay job and housing protections. But bills try to grant those same rights to trans people rarely get much attention except from Religious Right assholes drumming up fears of crossdressing rpists in bathrooms to prevent thebills passing. Where are most of our gay allies then?

"We'll get to you, honest. We just gotta finish our stuff first. Try not to get killed while we fight for marriage!"

I'm sorry but, well, fuck you Joe Jervis. You crossedthe line, and now you're just yet another privileged white gay man throwing us under the bus when we become inconvenient.

You may have just lost a regular reader.


A Note to Gentlemen Living in the Middle East using Dating Sites To Harass Canadian Women For Sex

I know, as I read extensively and watch news feeds from your part of the world, thart in most of your countries, women are treated as subhuman second-class citizens, the mythical superiority of men is just accepted as fact, and you're used to women being meek, submissive and never challenging you.

I know you also don't think lesbians exist. Canada is not one of your countries.

In MY country men and women are equals under the law. We don't need any man's permission for anything we choose to do with our own lives. We have the right to think, feel and speak as we wish to. Lesbians very much DO exist and can, under Canadian law, legally marry.

So if you Middle Eastern men who for some reason haven't found a slave to marry in your own country are going to insist on harassing me for sex or marriage, PLEASE stop acting surprised when I don't blindly obey you.

Stop acting shocked when I tell you NO.

Stop acting flustered and amazed when I refuse to obey your demands that I be humble and respectful towards you when by talking to me at all YOU are disrespecting ME through ignoring my clearly posted boundaries.

Stop laughing at the idea of me being a lesbian as if I was just being silly. It isn't something I say to dissuade men. It never dissuades ANYONE.

Stop trying to gloat that I'll never find a husband if I don't learn to be a good little girl and be nice to assholes like you. I never have nor ever will WANT a husband. You're just being stupid.

I am allowed to not want you. And I am not obligated to respect you when you refuse to respect me. I am CANADIAN, and Canadian women will kick your ass if you push your luck.

OUR women don't take bullshit from ANYONE.


A Dissertation on the Logic Processing Levels in the Average Douchebag

Circular Douchebag Logic 101;

Any woman who won't fuck me must be a lesbo, because there is no other rational reason why she could refuse a chance to touch my penis. No healthy hetero woman can resist my manly pheremones and my penis of wondrous awe, unless she is DJ'ing at a pussy party.


Women are ONLY lesbos BECAUSE they have not touched my penis, for my penis is magical and homo-curative. If these women gave in to logic and nature, they would touch my amazing penis and never look at another vagina as long as they live.

Further still

Any lesbo who foolishly insists she really is a lesbo and refuses the wonders of my magical penis is only a lesbo because she is so fat and ugly that no man will touch her, forcing her to turn to other fat ugly women. I will however throw her a pity fuck if she comes to her senses, because I'm cool like that.


The lesbo status of any woman refusing my magic penis is immutable and inarguable, for it is plainly obvious that my magic penis is so awesome and magnificent that were these women heterosexual their every instinct would cause them to impale themselves upon it immediately.

A dissertation on the mental deformity of function posessed by 60% of all men on the internet.

It is officially wired into the dna of roughly 60% of all men who use the internet; that the words "Lesbian" and "No" are always interpreted as code. The remaining 40% of men of course, hear lesbian and think "Ah rats, she's not into dudes, oh well!". They hear "no" and think "Well, can't blame a guy for trying right? You have a lovely day Miss!".

These are not the men this is describing.

To the 60%, referred to in scientific parlance as either "Massive cockmaggots" or simply "HNG's", these otherwise simple terms do not mean what they mean.

Whereas to normal, properly functioning brains NOT being deprived of blood flow by permanent erectile states, "Lesbian" means "Romantically and sexually attracted only to other women", and "No" means simply "No", the genetic code of the typical HING by it's naturally low intelligence and respect levels, is incapable of interpreting these two words correctly. Instead, they receive a specific misinterpretation from their undernourished brains, which works as follows;

Lesbian means either;
- Until I am cured by your magical penis (™ & ©), because I am only a lesbian because some big scary man hurt me and in my fear and confusion I turned foolishly to women, and if I just give you a chance you'll show me how much I really want a man
- I'm only SAYING I'm a lesbian to weed out pussy men not strong-willed enougfh to push me into admitting it's a lie, because only a strong forceful man like you is good enough for me. No matter how much I insist I really am a lesbian, it's only a test to see how determined you are, and if you just keep at it, eventually you will win my love because no woman ever really prefers pissy to your awesome magical penis (™ & ©).

No simply means;
- Yes you big silly, I'm only saying no because it's how I was raised, there's no possible way I could be telling the truth when I say I don't want your awesome magical penis (™ & ©) because, I mean, come on! It's an awesome magical penis! How could I possibly be serious about declining?

No amount of repetition of the actual definitions will ever be successful in counteracting this hardwired misinterpretation. The only effective treatment of this sad mental deformity is to block the HNG from being able to contact you. Or to tell them you have a penis and it is bigger than theirs.


Careless Fraud Friday

Today I got a thank you from a known anti-gay bigot fruitloop in my e-mail. Strange that. Being thanked for shit I didn't do. This shit is WAY too funny, there was no way humanly possible I could NOT share this.

Quick Background first; Every week, Eugene Delgaudio, a small-time not-even-a-blip-on-the-radar anti-gay activist, sends a mass e-mail to anyone on his mailing list pleading for money to help him, as the self-appointed "Public Advocate of the United States", stop the evil homosexual lobby from passing things like "The Homosexual Classrooms Act". Yeah I know, I never heard of it either. He does this by telling bizarre,m weird, ridiculous fairytales designed to scare little old ladies into sending him their grocery money. Tales where he is the poor beleaguered hero whose life is constantly in danger because of evil violent gay men. According to him, he's narrowly escaped a warehouse full of earring sporting ponytail wearing mustachiod faggots and been beaned with a giant rock in his own home. It's like an old 30's serial, we tune in every week on Joe.My.God's blog to see the next exciting chapter!

So last week I clicked the link from Joe's to Eugene's website because Canada was mentioned. I looked at some of his fucked-up ramblings, laughed at his clear insanity, and left the website. And that is ALL I did. I didn't fill out ANY forms of ANY kind or click on anything about signing up for anything.

So imagine my shock when THIS just arrived in my inbox...

(Warning, this DEFINITELY will fall into tl;dr territory. The man is NOTHING if not longwinded.)

Dear Penny,

Um, how do you know my name? Do you moonlight as The Great Zucchini at the local fairgrounds?

Thank you for your recently signed petition. I am excited to know you are an American who is willing to take a stand for pro-family values.

The last petition I signed was to ask CNN to stop bringing folks like you on as "Conservative experts".

Here at Public Advocate, fighting for and defending the family values our nation was founded on is what we are all about.

Wasn't one of those values separation of Church and State?

If you are looking for a hard-hitting pro-family organization with a history of victories against the growing radical Homosexual Lobby, look no further than Public Advocate of the United States.

His victories are as imaginary as the Bills he's fighting against. And the 70's gay pornstars he fantasizes about getting beaten up by.

Founded in 1981, Public Advocate quickly took center stage as the nation’s leading family advocate with over 400,000 united pro-family activists.

His math sucks. He and his wife don't equal 400K. Unless he just repeats their names with different spellings ad nauseum on the staff page..

Time after time, Public Advocate has beaten back the attempts of the Homosexual Lobby to pass legislation aimed at making homosexuals a special class of citizens.

The only thing he's ever beaten back was his medication.

But, victories these days have been harder and harder to come by.

Hard to dwindle something you never had any of to begin with.

Which is why I so excited to have your signed petition!

I didn't sign a damned thing for you and I'll sue you into oblivion if my name appears on any of your crap.

With it, I will prove to Congress that the American people still hold traditional family values dear.

By commandeering the signature of a fat paegan hermaphrodite lesbian? Yeah let me know how that works out for you.

And if you believe the threat of the Homosexual Lobby is being blown out of proportion, think again.

The Religious Right? Blowing homosexuality out of proportion? THE HELL YOU SAY???

At this very moment, individuals and organizations with hundreds of millions of dollars that comprise the Homosexual Lobby are working to pass their radical agenda.

Ha, I WISH! We could afford nationwide TV spots to make fun of NOM.

Here are just a few names and organizations you may recognize: Tim Gill, Barney Frank, Pat Stryker, Jared Polis, Cindy and Meghan McCain, The Advocate, GLAAD, and the Human Rights Campaign.

All decent hardworking people. Well, except McCain's daughters. They just want to give Daddy a heart attack.

All of these people are working towards what they call “equal rights” for homosexuals, when in reality, the rights they are trying to acquire would be unique to homosexuals only.

So.... if we get the right to marry, somehow NO ONE ELSE will be allowed to? Hetero spouses will be kicked out of a dying spouses' hospital room? Straight white men will be routinely denied employment for being blonde and blue-eyed?

A Thought Control bill was just recently passed. This bill puts into law regulations that deem so-called “hate speech” as illegal.

I never heard of any such bill being pa.... ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!!!

This has me worried, and I hope you are too. Because who is to say what language will be considered hate speech?

Pretty much anyone being advocated into jail or out of the country or just outright murdered for simply existing? That might be a start.

Don’t believe me? In Canada and Europe pastors have been thrown in jail for preaching Biblical teachings against homosexuality.

Nope. Not a one. Ever. I live here, trust me, if it had happened the National Post would be all OVER that shit. Conrad Black hates him some gay folks.

This very well may be the reality of Thought Control in the United States.

But I thought Pink Floyd was a British band?

I hope you know how serious this issue really is.

About as serious as your headwound from the giant rock you somehow survived being brained with?

Which is why, as President of Public Advocate, I have devoted my life to protecting family values and defending our freedoms.

By denigrating families that scare you and fighting to rob them of their freedoms. Seems counterproductive to me.

I want to leave a legacy I am proud of, knowing the United States is still the nation I grew up in.

No dear, that was Leave It To Beaver you're remembering. The USA was never ACTUALLY like that.

But without your support, this year alone we could see Barney Frank’s so-called “Employment Non-Discrimination Act” put into law.

*sighs* Only if they throw trans folk under the bus. And even then it's a stretch with this many republicans in congress.

We call this the “Gay Bill of Special Rights” because it doesn’t eliminate discrimination, it destroys workplace protection from radical homosexuals whose only mission is to spread their agenda.

You losing the right to be a dick at the office is not discrimination dear.

If passed, the Gay Bill of Special Rights would require workplaces to meet a quota of homosexual employees, forcing employers to choose a radical homosexual over a potentially more qualified candidate.

Good thing the gay folks are likely just as qualified. Because we're the same as anyone else that way.

And no workplace will be exempt. Churches, daycares, nursing homes, private schools, you name it, all will have to adhere to these regulations.

Only if they're taking government money. If you're taking government funding, you obey the law. If you want to discrimiate, do it on your own dime. It's not rocket science.

And Obama is even looking to push for the repeal of "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell" this year, which would remove the protection our soldiers have from the Homosexual Lobby.

Aww, typing up all the thinly veiled gay erotica he sends out must have distracted him from watching the news of late, DADT has gone the way of the DoDo and Donald Trump's original hair.

And even the Healthcare bill is filled with numerous paybacks to homosexuals, giving lower healthcare premiums to “unmarried” homosexuals than married couples, all paid for at taxpayer expense.

Nah. Obama doesn't like gays THAT much.

I hope you understand this threat is real. . . and imminent.

About as real and imminent as the scary gay man supposedly camped out in your son's treehouse waiting to beat you up?

And I also hope you will consider making a donation to Public Advocate to help protect our family values.

Oh sure, let me go check my Swiss Bank account and get right on that.

Public Advocate will never waver from the firm conviction that political decisions should begin and end with the best interests of American families and communities in mind, and that marriage is a sacred union between one man and one woman.

You know, except when it's between one man and three women he bought from a farmer, or one rapist and his victim after he pays her father for damage to his property, all neatly found in that Bible you've clearly never actually read through.

Public Advocate has been 100% dependent on the financial support of contributors, we do not receive any government or taxpayer money, nor do we want it.

Because money that otherwise would have bought groceries and heating for some little old lady he terrified with bullshit is SO much sweeter.

I would appreciate it if you could help support Public Advocate by making a charitable contribution, please click here.

And I would appreciate it if you'd stick your penis in battery acid to insure you stay out of the gene pool but we can't always get what we want.

No matter the amount, be it $5 or $50 or more, every dollar you give is greatly appreciated and will go a long way towards defending our pro-family values.

As long as that family resembles the Cleavers. Any other configuration can go fuck themselves.

It is my hope to keep you up-to-date on the fight for pro-family values through email alerts.

Oh please do! I can supply my friends with material for the rest of my natural life!

There are some tough battles coming up very soon and I am going to need your help if we are to win.

Sure! I'd LOVE to help you denigrate my marriage and my loving relationship! Where do I sign up! Oh right, the phishing software hidden on your website beat me to it. Darn!

Thank you for your support.

Thank you for giving me clear evidence of computer fraud to forward to the FBI!


Eugene Delgaudio
Public Advocate of the U.S.

I officially declare myself president of the Fetlife Advocate Of Breast Gropings. W#ow that was easy! Now to terrify someone into giving me their lunch money.

P.S. Public Advocate is the leading force in defending the conservative pro-family values our nation was founded on.

And for over 50 years the World Wrestling Federation was the leading force in Sports Entertainment!

Please consider a donation to Public Advocate to help defend our pro-family values from the Homosexual Lobby's attacks.

I might if you WERE pro-family instead of pro-stealing my money.

Because Public Advocate of the U.S. lobbies to fight the radical agenda of the Homosexual Lobby, contributions are not tax deductible for IRS purposes. This email was not produced or e-mailed at taxpayer expense. Public Advocate's website is http://notgoingtolethimphishanyofyou.fucknugget

Awww, too bad for you then. I only donate to hateful bigots if I can declare it on my 502.

To help Public Advocate grow, please forward this to a friend.

I am, but I don't think you'll like the friends I'm showing this to you, they're all way smarter than you and have awesome built-in natural bullshit detectors.

Funny thing is, I visited his site near a week ago, but the e-mail said I was only added to his list today. Also, shock and awe, any attempt to reply to his spam gets a mailer-daemon error. Guess he doesn't like people calling him on his shit?

Time Travel Has Been Discovered!!!

Because that is SERIOUSLY the only logical explanation for how this piece of misogynist horseshit from the 1950's can possibly exist today.

Unless the design team was headed up by either Phyllis Schafly or Wendy Wright, or a middle class teenaged white girl who's watched WAY too much of Pretty Little Liars, there is no way in hell a woman was even so much as consulted in making this game.

The game advertises itself, condescendingly, as being "Finally! A game for GIRLS!". It boasts the ability to turn your virtual self into a "successful lady" who shops constantly, (seriously, every mission set has a "go shopping at the mall" goal of some sort), changes her look like a drag Lon Chaney, (again, a makeover goal of some kind is in nearly every mission set too), and find a boyfriend.

The boyfriend finding is of course a social climbing game, as your virtual boyfriend is scored by his job and thus how much money he gives you. If you don't like the first one? Just dump him and try again! But oh, don't date TOO many guys girls, you don't want to be a slut, and playing the field means you'll NEVER be happy or fulfilled!

Which is funny, since the game pretty much ONLY rewards you FOR acting like a stereotypical vapid slut given how the people who would make a game like this most likely would define a slut. It's classic mixed signal slut shaming. You HAVE to bag a boyfriend to be a successful fulfilled "Lady", you HAVE to slut around some to bag a RICH boyfriend who can take care of you, but don't you dare ACT like a filthy slut you vapid little tart!

Classic misogyny. This is what sexist men think all women should be striving for, not silly things like falling in love on her own terms, or having a successful carreer.

Ohhhh, employment, yes. The game DOES let your virtual woman find a job. Because it's all progressive like that. Yes, you can find a job..... baking cookies, or serving cocktails. But nary an executive or management job to be found. Oh silly me, why would I think a girl could ever get or even want a job like that? After all, a job is just a temporary source of money for clothes and make-up until we finally land our Mister Right to foot all the bills!

I am honestly legitimately surprised there isn't a blowjob minigame wherein you hit the up and down keys in rapid succession to raise points for some arbitrary score about how much you can use sex to exert control over your man.

Maybe in the next update?


Some Happy News To Cheer You All Up

I thought for once some happy news would be a good thing to share with everyone. We all get to read about so much depressing and/or triggering fuckery that sometimes it gets a bit much to take and things can feel kinda bleak. But I have a tale of fuckery vanquished to act as a sorbet for everyone.

Trigger Warning for sexual violence and Misogyny.

So on Monday the 10th, I was lazily shedding turkey coma, (Canadian Thanksgiving WAS Monday here, but my mom does the family dinner thing on Sundays), and was having a scroll through my twitter feed. One of my UK friends seemed to be upset about something. So much so she had misspelled the url for the link to what had upset her in a blog entry.

While I was telling her the link needed correcting I asked her to show me what had upset her. She linked me to 1StopShirtShop.co.uk, an otherwise seemingly normal internet shirt store.They had the usual categories that have become common of course. Some comic book tees here, some movie tees there. And the seemingly obligatory these days "Offensive tees".

Most of the offensive tees were of the expected "Get in the kitchen my sammich won't make itself" variety. Sexist and unfunny, but sadly easy enough to ignore for most of us. But the shirt that had upset my friend was one that read "If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it rape or shoplifting?".

As a rape survivor AND a former prostitute, this staggering example of Rape Culture almost literally made me vomit.

I've become friends with Change.org's Shelby Knox since she rectified the "Justin" incident for me last fall. "The then community manager of change had banned me for standing up to rape apologists who were blatantly posting dehumanizing "most rapes are false reports to hurt men" comments. My rebuttals sharing person history tio show why rape is bad all got deleted, but the rape apologists' posts were still there, Shelby rectified it by encouraging Justin to move on and deleted the offending comments. So given that I decided to try a petition there aimed at this shop.

So I started the petition.

I set the signature goal at 1500. I thought that seemed a reasonable target for what was ostensibly a small action. I shared the petition link on Twitter and Facebook. And hoped for the best.

Now I've seen other such actions on Change that generally took awhile to get anywhere, if they ever did. But much to my happy surprise, in less than 24 hours after only 100 signatures, I found that 1Stop had quieted removed all trace of the shirt ever existing. The link to it's page used on the petition description comes back dead, and going to their homepage and searching keywords "rape" or "prostitute" turn up no results of this shirt.

The company listened, with minimal prodding, and removed a shirt that went well beyond just being "off colour humour" and into promoting the rape of sex workers. They heard the message about rape culture, about the harms that sex workers face, and they LISTENED.

And that, while sadly being an all too rare thing these days, is a wonderful thing. Someone listened with minimal prodding and a harmful shirt that, and you folks all know I'm not exaggerating, could have legitimately contributed to actual sex workers being raped, by frat boys who think the shirt is funny, or a men who realizes police likely won't care. A shirt like that was outright dangerous.

But they LISTENED. We spoke up about rape and someone actually heard us.

And goddammit, that just feels good.


Canadian Evil

Yes folks, even here in Canada we have completely repulsive worthless pieces of human shit who gleefully use lies and distortions to demonize LGBT people under the guise of "merely expressing their Christian moral views".

Canada's answer to American Professional Lying Bigot groups such as the Family Research Council and the American Family Association is the "Institute for Canadian Values", which of course represents anything BUT actual Canadian values.

In a recent National Post, this deplorable full-page ad in the National Post, long a bastion of conservative rightwing bullshit.

This sleazy deceptive lie-filled ad is intended to sway the current Ontario provincial election. It's vile and repulsive and in no way reflects any truly moral values.

Feel better Yankees, we have lie-for-a-living fuckweasels too!


Let's Make NOM's Bullshit Backfire!

The National Organization for Marriage, those stalwart defenders of complete and utter bullshit in the name of God, are urging people to send a robo-mailer to Florida Congresswoman Ileana Ros-Lehtinen because of her support of the repeal of DOMA. Like all antigay hate groups who lie for a living, NOM wants to bully the Congresswoman into ignoring her conscience and give in to fear and their bullying .

On their website here They have a robo-mailer form all nice and ready with their manipulative bile so you can help them bully the Congresswoman into backing out on basic fairness and equality.

Except they made a mistake. They left it editable. COMPLETELY editable.

So let's make NOM regret that mistake. Go to their form, but replace their header with THIS one

Please DO NOT support DOMA

And replace their manipulative hate-filled liefest body with THIS more honest and reasonable text;

"Dear Rep. Ros-Lehtinen,

I am commandeering a hate group's mass e-mailer to express my elation and deep gratitude that you would abandon traditional Republican bigotry and narrow-mindedness towards marriage, family, and basic compassionate equality. Marriage is a bedrock of our society, and I urge you to NEVER let false Christian hate groups like NOM bully you into re-considering your position on DOMA.

By co-sponsoring Rep. Nadler's bill to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act, you are placing in jeopardy the paycheques of antigay marriage fearmongers in more the 40 states, threatening to impose their personal faith on secular law and make same-sex marriage a wedge issue to scare voters across the nation who have resoundingly rejected same-sex marriage at every turn ONLY because hate groups like NOM pour millions of mysterious wealthy donor money into lying, manipulative deceptive ad campaigns designed to scare people into fearing THE GAYZ are out to get their kids..

I urge you to dropkick any attempts by NOM or ant other lying Antigay Hate Group to threaten, bully or manipulate you into dropping your support for the repeal of DOMA, and to respect the voice of the American people, NOT the ones who were manipulated by fearmongering lie-filled ad campaigns into voting for bigotry, but the ones who consistently show in ever reputable poll that the majority in America DO favor marriage equality. Do what you know in your heart is right, not what religious frauds who denigrate their own God by lying in His name try to bully you into accepting."

Come on kids! Let's flip those lying bastards on their asses!


A Universal Truth About Debating

Christopher R. Barron is a self-proclaimed "Gay Conservative", for any among you who've never heard f his organization, GOProud.

While anyone living in the real world with a firm grip on reality knows that "Gay Conservative" is pretty much an oxymoron considering that anti-gay activism is carved in stone in Conservative Dogma, Chris continues to insist he is such a person, and that liberal gay activists are just a bunch of mean self-serving bullies unfairly picking on him.

Yes, a gay man using the NOM defense to accuse those he's screwing over of being the real aggressors.

Before we begin, a sample primer of the hypocritical Quisling douchebaggery that is Chris Barron.

Whitewashing anti-gay history of idiot he supports.

Defending a Republican bigot who says Gay is a sinful choice.

Downplaying the seriousness of the GOP's Anti-Gay animus.

Then doing an immediate 180 while condemning marriage equality.

Completely lying through his teeth to soothe his conscience.

Desperately clinging to his "Conservatives like me!" delusion despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary slapping him repeatedly in the face.

Jumping though ridiculously vontorted intellectual hoops to justify his cowardice.

That's just a small sample folks. The bottom line is that Chris Barron is a moral coward, a sellout, and a traitor to hist LGBT brothers and sisters.

Now when he made one of his usual lie-filled smug statements attacking the "Liberal Gay Left" as the villains while defending hateful policies and ideals, I tweeted at him that his actions were deplorable and his lies transparent. I was brutally honest. I chastised him for supporting people who are on record as wanting to have gays be anything from jailed to deported to outright executed. I called him, as so many do, a Quisling. (Look it up on Wikipedia and you'll see why).

Chris Barron is a collaborator. He's the worst kind of suck-up. He's the kid who sneaks into the locker room, steals other kids' lunch money, then gives it to the school bully at recess so HE won't get beat up, then goes home and brags to his mom how popular he is because he's the only kid in class who only got ONE black eye at recess when the other bullied kids all got two plus some broken ribs.

Barron, proving with only the slightest nudge that he is in fact everything I said he was, immediately resorted to the time-honored Rightwing Bully tactic of taking what I said to him, choosing only selected specific quotes, and retweeting them to his followers using said cherry-picked quotes to paint me in the worst light to his followers, knowing full well that the sort of folks who'd follow him on Twitter would be unlikely to go look at my timeline to get the full story. The kind of ignorant sheep who would follow any charismatic right-wing liar generally take those liars at face value and never try to educate themselves.

Following that, he resorted to a cheap sad fat joke at my expense rather than attempt to refute anything I said. Soon enough, to no intelligent person's surprise, his followers started in on me with the childish, juvenile insults. Some examples.


Your TL is a mess @ShamanOfHedon I suspect your whole life is too! GOProud is political group, they're NOT LGBT advocates, go bitch at them!
Maybe @ShamanOfHedon should spend her time bitching at people who really do hate her fat ass, like Dan Savage? Or is she a spineless drone?

Why do fat insecure girls like @shamanofhedon feel the need to attack people who hold different values?
Hey @shamanofhedon- @ChrisRBarron isn't out to shut down your top 5 favorite buffets- cut him some slack. Is it time for u 2b milked? #cow
@shamanofhedon... Another example of mad cow disease.


@ShamanOfHedon You are delusional.
@ShamanOfHedon The only state sponsored murdering of gays comes from the left. It's called abortion.


@ChrisRBarron @ShamanOfHedon Loosen the bone Wilma & lets see some of that "diversity" you claim to love so much

Now let's do a count.

Shallow juvenile weight jokes? Check.

Misogynist joke? Check.

Making baseless grandiose assumptions about how I can only be so mean to poor Chrissy-poo because my personal life must just suck ass? Check.

These fine upstanding folks, and every other one who tweeted at me, even the polite ones, have one undeniable thing in common with Chris; Not ONE of them, nor Chris himself, made a single attempt to refute my statements about Chris with any actual facts. Few tried refuting me at all, and the two, yes TWO, who did attempt to do so did so only with pathetic topic changing rhetoric about how it was the Democrats in 96 who signed DADT and DOMA into law. This is funny because I was never once discussing DOMA, DADT, or the Democrats, nor was I discussing anything that happened 15 bloody years ago. I was talking only about Chris Barron publicly supporting anti-gay Republicans TODAY.

A universal truth about any debate, one that always is guaranteed to let you know without any doubt that you are completely right and you've already won the debate. The unequivocal method of knowing your opponent has surrendered and conceded that you are 100% right without them having to actually say "Yes you're right".

When the only rebuttal your opponent can offer is to;

A) Make fun of your weight/Sex/Socioeconomic class and intone that by default because you are fat/female/poor your opinion is automatically worthless and should be ignored,

B) Bring up topics that at absolute best may have a slight tertiary connection to the actual topic being discussed as an attempt to sidetrack the discussion from the actual point they can't refute,

C) Selectively cherry-pick quotes from the bulk of what you said to make it seem as if you're saying one crude thing, completely stripping away all context surrounding it to make you appear to be a thug,

Then the debate is over. They've conceded, you've won. There is absolutely no doubt you're right and they're tacitly admitting to it in a way that lets them puff up their chest to look big and not gave to actually say it openly and honestly.

So the reactions of Mr. Barron and his twitter followers prove I'm very much correct in my assessment of him. He's conceded the debate. Of course he'll never openly admit that of course. Just like Anti-Gay hate groups like NOM, FRC and the AFA, he'll never OPENLY admit he knows he's wrong and is doing evil work in support of an oppressive ideology that hates gay people, even if his debate tactics prove he knows it's true.

But he knows it. And as an out gay man, if clearly not a proud one, he should be absolutely disgusted with himself.

A Note On The Sidebar; The Sequel

I will no longer be cross-posting my blog entries as diaries on Pam's House Blend. Autumn Sandeen, whom I considered a friend and had frequently passionately defended online against shallow bigoted comments, decided to throw me to the wolves and scold me for a non-existant TOS violation in the comments on one of her PHB posts, for the SOLE purpose of showing a poster with a proven on-record history of baseless anti-trans trolling to whom Autumn needed to prove absolutely nothing that she does not "play favorites" with TOS violation warnings. I understand why Autumn did so. But I neither accept nor approve her decision to cower before a troll attacking her unfairly by sacrificing a friend who stands up for her just so she could "prove" how impartial she is.

Because of this sad act of cowardice by Autumn to appease a troll who will not actually care in the end and will still find excuses to attack Autumn and call her a man regardless if I get a token scolding or not, I have removed PHB from my sidebar and will never again comment on the site nor crosspost to it. I cannot in my personal good conscience support or contribute to a site where such an egregious act of personal cowardice and selling out a friend for meaningless brownie points takes place.

Apologies to Pam Spaulding for my decision. It hurts me deeply to be betrayed by a friend like this so publicly. It hurts worse to realize that at least one of the accusations I so frequently defended Autumn against turns out to be true; That she in fact IS a self-serving person who puts herself above others and will step on good people to elevate herself. I hope Autumn continues to do the good work she does do, but I DEARLY hope she stops to look at whom she hurts to do it sometimes.


An Enemy Defects

Crossposted on Pam's House Blend

Those of you who regularly read this blog know of my run-ins with National Organization For Marriage spokesman Louis J. Marinelli. For a refresher course, go here, here, here, here, and here.

Well now I can finally happily say Louis has learned his lesson. I don't know what brought him around, but Louis no longer supports the anti-gay anti-marriage equality movement not NOM. He's come around and apologized for his anti-gay activism.

Out friend Jeremy Hooper of Good As You has an interview up with Louis. Just click the clicky to read the full chat they had. Of particular relevance to me was this statement.

"Whether it is an issue of disbelief, shame or embarrassment, the one thing that is for sure is that I have come to this point after several months of an internal conflict with myself. That conflict gradually tore away at me until recently when I was able to, for the first time simply admit to myself that I do in fact support civil marriage equality for all.

While I have come to terms with this reality internally, speaking about it, even with the closest members of my family, has proven to be something difficult for me to do.

In short, if there is an issue of disbelief surrounding my newfound support for civil marriage equality, it is disbelief from those who surround me. If there is an issue of shame, it is a result of acknowledging the number of people I have targeted, hurt and oppressed. And if there is an issue of embarrassment, its roots lie in the face-to-face encounters I have had and expect to have with those with whom I once toiled over this very contentious issue."

I applaud Louis for this. It's one thing to realize that you're on the wrong side of an issue. It's one thing to accept that you have contributed vociferously to real harm done to the lives of good people. But to find the courage, the strength of character, to stand up in public and say "I was wrong and I'm sorry", well, that takes courage. Courage I'll admit I never thought Louis could have. And I am ridiculously proud he proved me wrong. I have never been more happy in my life to be mistaken about something.

So thank you Louis, not only for realizing the truth, but for having the balls to admit it publicly. Words matter, and some as anti-gay as you once were standing up in public and saying you were wrong can effect others. You might actually reach more people than we can. Any hater can ignore us telling them they're wrong, but when one of their own says "We're on the wrong side of this fight", they might just stop for a moment and listen.

Thank you Louis. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for waking up.


Hello, ABC? Welcome to MY World!

And my lifetime of nasty painful dehumanizing complications that resulted from my being "corrected" at birth. In response to ABC News, let me tell you MY story about the results of "correcting" an intersexed child.

Crossposted on Pam's House Blend

Because my vagina was pinhole sized. They assumed I'd never get more than a pinky finger in it, much less a man's almighty penis, (which is sadly their main criteria when making these decisions; Will they be able to have "normal" hetero sex?), so they cauterized the mucous membranes with a heated metal rod and sewed up the tiny hole, leaving what visually appeared to be a normal if a wee bit below average penis and one testicle with a small scar.

Only my father was consulted. My mother was told they just needed to remove a growth. Except they failed to actually bother wasting any time doing silly things like a full internal examination. If they had they'd have found my uterus and maybe thought twice about the whole "She'll be happier as a boy" idea. (Helpful Hint; They were WRONG). Or they might have removed it and spared me a lot of grief.

I didn't actually know I was intersexed until 9 years ago while undergoing a full spate of physical tests at the gender clinic that used to be downtown in Vancouver before the BC Liberal stripped it of funding because it was "Frivolous spending". They discovered my true biology right at the same time they realized my blood disorder meant invasive surgeries would likely kill me.

See, until then, I had just thought I was a chronically ill MTF transsexual woman who had for some reason grown breasts. Sometimes I was actually stupid enough to believe I had breasts because I had somehow willed them to grow in my desire to be a girl. But around age 12 when they began growing, I started getting really sick every month. No doctor took me seriously because my parents told them I was probably faking to avoid school, (You can imagine how much I hated school, but still), and for years I never got thorough satisfactory answers or even seriously tested to see what was wrong with me. It's where I first learned to not trust doctors.

My problem? The uterus and my one ovary are functional. Imagine the joy of PMS when, thanks to sexist asshole binary enforcing doctors, the goddamn blood has NOWHERE to go. My body goes through painful PMS, then averages two weeks of chronic stomach pain and nausea as my body is forced to re-absorb blood it should be expelling, and because of my progressive blood disorder there's NO way this can be fixed now. So I'm doomed to a lifetime of needless suffering all because doctors thought they had a right to make that choice for me at birth.

If anyone has any questions about intersex from the horse's mouth, my e-mail is theaerie@shaw.ca

The worst part is that when I was FINALLY given access to my birth records, to learn exactly what was done, I learned I was years beyond any recourse to be compensated. The doctor who made the decision and lead the surgery had died 3 years before I found out, and every lawyer I consulted said no judge would hold the actual hospital accountable. My only comfort is knowing at least the bastard won't screw up anymore children ever again.

The choice should ALWAYS be the child's, when they're old enough to understand.


This Is VERY Simple

UPDATE Justin no longer works at Change.org and Shelby Knox has personally apologised to me for the ridiculous way in which he treated me. I consider the issue resolved.

Petitions by Change.org|Start a Petition »

Change.org Community Manager "Justin" has TWICE deleted my account from Change.org and deleted comments I posted. Why? Because as a Rape Survivor I stood up to crude offensive rape apologist men in comments threads on Change.org. I double checked, every misogynist sexist "Oh rape isn't so bad you bitches probably liked it get over yourselves" type comment I responded to remains online, unedited, uncensored, and clearly not deleted. My justifiably angry "You are a hateful idiot and your disgusting neanderthal opinion of rape survivors is disgusting as are you" replies all are deleted.

Justin's explanation for censoring me amounted to a condescending "There there little lady, we can't have wimmins posting angry profane comments to our lil ole activism site, even if that big ole man is being a bit douchey."

So click that button, sign that petition while it still exists because I'm DAMN sure Justin will delete it. He's proven he's a selective activist, and a man who will happily punish the victim if she stands up for herself.

Sign it before it's gone.


Because Porno Pete Is All About Being Open and Honest

Crossposted on Pam's House Blend

Update; Hat-tipped on Truth Wins Out

I'm guessing poor Porno Petey, AKA Peter LaBarbera of Americans for lying through their teeth about gays Truth About Homosexualty, was getting tired of us nasty mean ole GLBT folks like Joe Sudbay, Jeremy Hooper and Wayne Besen & Evan Hurst using HIS OWN WORDS to show what a hypocritical, deceitful douchehat he really is.

You see, all the bloggers I listed above, plus several others including Pam and Alvin of the site I crosspost these on, have frequently screencapped little nuggets of batshittery and hateful glee from poor Petey's very own Twitter account. And there've been some real doozeys over the past couple years. But Petey seems to have grown JUST enough of a brain to finally realize his own words are shotting his hateful cause in the ass. Most likely after seeing how Maggie Gallager and Tony Perkins, both of whom use the same playbook, had THEIR hateful rhetoric backfire on them in Maryland when their lies and bile actually convinced one senator to change his mind about supporting equal marriage, for the better.

Why, you may ask, do I think this? Well, every few days I go and read Petey's Twitter Feed to see what asinine mindnumbingly delusional reality-deficient crap he's spouting that day. But when I went to do so just a mere 15 minutes ago, I saw this;

Seems Petey's "zeal for truth" doesn't include having enough faith in his own words to let just anyone see them anymore. Maybe he's finally realizing, thanks to the spectacular failure in Maryland of his hatemongering peers, that people CAN see through his lies, and that the more folks that get to read the vile bile he spews, the more people his cause will chase away. People can only be fooled by the same tired lies so many times before even the fearful naive sheep he preys on start to question why that one sheep who keeps telling them the dark spooky forest is safer for them than the wide open field where the farmer can see them has wolf paws.

Because Peter LaBarbera is ALL about honesty and transparency because of his zeal for truth. Right?

You may commence uncontrollable fits of derisive laughter now.


Dealing With Classic Derailing When Teaching About Trans Lives

Crossposted on Pam's House Blend

For the past two weeks I've been all over the damned net trying to maintain my temper while dealing with a very depressingly high concentration of white middle to upper class gay men posting comments on various websites in reply to articles or blogs about the SNL Estro-Maxx sketch or the Craig Ferguson "My long lost half sister Peg" sketch. There are reasons so many trans folk are losing faith and trust in a large chunk of the gay community, feeling like we're conveniant tools to help fight their pet causes but to be discarded or thrown under a bus when WE need them. Honestly I actually have less issues with femisogynist lesbians bashing us the last two weeks than with smug dismissive gay men.

The general consencus among these white Gay en is that we in the trans community should just lighten the fuck up because these two skits were all in good fun, just harmless jokes doncha know? We're just too damn oversensitive, we need to lighten up and grow a funnybone.

Yadda yadda yadda.

I've cited Derailing for Dummies so many times the past two weeks I almost have the whole bloody thing memorized.

So I'm going to paste a couple things here. The comment of mine that got the most likes on Disqus and got the most people saying "Okay maybe you're right" of the hundreds I've posted the past two weeks, and the classic derail attempt it was in reply to.

The Derail attempt. (After I'd been pushed to start cussing in frustration at the bullshit lengths these guys were going to to avoid admitting the harm being done. 500 points if you can spot the classic derail attempt).

"It's really too bad that you can't keep a civil tone and refrain from the profanity (and that goes for everyone)--it would really give more credence to your arguments. That said...do you happen to notice that "Peg" seems pretty happy with herself? So, if you're taking the leap to casting her as transgender, she's out and proud. But I agree with the previous posters who equate this to Milton Berle, Flip Wilson and I'll add Jonathan Winters and all the Kids in the Hall and Catherine Tate (look them up). The comic conceit of "obvious bad drag" does not a transgendered character make. So before you cast stones at CBS and Craig Ferguson, consider what you're really criticizing. (In this case, it's simply a monotonous skit."

And my reply, the one which got the most Disqus likes and got through to people.

"Nope, sorry, but you're just classic derailing again to be able to dismiss me so you don't have to acknowledge you're completely wrong. Using a tone argument, "You're being too angry/hostile/profane therefore nothing you say is of any import" is classic derailing done by privileged idiots who don't want to have to expand their worldview to include the lives of marginalized people. This is how you convince yourself you'e better than me and therefore your inherant superiority automatically disempowers my justified rage in your mind, and you can dismiss me as overreacting.

So the only one losing ANY credibility here is YOU. Especially given the examples you cite, which back up NOT your arguments but mine. Earlier you argued that men wearing women's clothing didn't automaticaly equate to trans bashing. I agreed but argued that in the case of the SNL sketch and the Ferguson sketch it did because gender variance was the sole and only point of the "joke" in these cases. By citing comedians like Berle, Wilson, KITH and Winters, you're only strengthening MY argument, because NONE of those comedians were playing gender itself as the joke. They were all always portraying actual women when they crossdressed for comedy. Flip Wilson's Geraldine for example was NEVER played for "Man in a dress" laughs, she was played for "Angry black mother" laughs. The character was a straight-on woman, and the jokes were rooted on her attitude, NOT her bodyparts.

SNL and Ferguson cannot say the same. The entire point of both sketches was to mock gender variance, and you CANNOT argue it away or deny it in Craig's case just because the guy playing Peg has come out before as male characters and tried to disgust the audience.

Both sketches relied on negative demeaning stereotypes of trans women to get their laughs. Both mocked trans women as silly freakish people who are just weird and abnormal and there to be mocked or treated like sexual deviants. Both used facial hair to emphasize the whole "This is just a man in a dress" meme.

So sorry asshole, but your derailing attempts have failed and so has your lameass privilege based argument. And my very justified anger, amplified by your staggeringly self-absorbed ignorant arrogance, does not dilute the fact that I am RIGHT, you are WRONG, your privilege has made you ignorant of what trans people have to truly put up with, the damage shit like this does us, and the damage YOU do by perpetuating it rather than educating.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. YOU are not trans, so YOU do NOT get to tell US what is or is not offensive to us."

I wish it didn't take me being pushed to the limits of my already pain-reduced patience to drive me to a point where I can articulate myself enough to actually get the fuck THROUGH to people, but sometimes anger can be a good tool if you find the right lens through which to focus it.

I just wish I could've gotten through to more people. The bulk of those I've been dealing with still think we're all just uptight humorless trannies who need to take a joke.

But if SNL or Craig had done a sketch with a white guy in blackface singing Mammy, or a guy playing a hyper effeminate gay man looking for 10 year old boys to show his "lollypop" to, these assholes would be first in line out for blood demanding SNL/Ferguson apologize for the bigotry and that they remove the offending sketch.

But hey, we're just silly trannies, we just need to learn to take a joke. Right?


And I don't care who I piss off by having the nerve to stand up for myself and my sisters. Our lives are NOT material for bad comedy.


The Flip Side of Isms

Crossposted on Pam's House Blend

As a woman who is mixed race, overweight, intersex, and a lesbian, I've had to put up with all the major ism's and bigotries we all know and love. (Snrk). Racism, sexism, fatphobia, ageism from teenagers who think anyone over 30 is useless, homophobia, transphobia, etcetera. I know all too well that bigotry causes harm and is destructive.

But earlier today I got sucked into an argument with some now former friends on Twitter over Ableism and it reminded me that every "ism" is a double edged sword and that humanity in general is mostly selfish self-absorbed lazy cowards unable to take responsibility for themselves.

Ableism for those unfamiliar with it is fear and/or abuse of physicaly and/or mentally disabled people. As a disabled person also, I'm not in the least oblivious to the fact that ableism DOES exist and treating disabled people dismissively as if they're automatically useless, crazy, lazy or faking for sympathy happens a lot and can be very hurtful and destructive. But like so many "isms", I find more often than nor it's a cheap defense used as an excuse to be coddled or protected from reality.

I'm sure most of you have heard about yesterday;s shooting in Arzona, which among other things left a goddamned NINE YEAR OLD CHILD DEAD. Now to me, when something that bad happens, the last thing I'm thinking about is me or how words make me feel. My thoughts were squarely on the dead child and feeling heartbroken and angry that this even happened.

Naturally a lot of people think the shooter was completely batshit and said so on Twitter. As someone with a history of mental issues this, according to my ableism fighting "friends", should automatically hurt my fee fees and mortally offend me.

It doesn't. The bastard who opened fire in a crowd to kill a judge and a senator clearly is not right in the head. All evidence says he was a Teabagger, a group of bigoted hateful people to begin with, most of whom are very much not right in the head. From people who still insist Obama is Muslim or foreign born despite overwhelming evidence otherwise to people who spend millions to prevent GLBT equality at all costs while letting homeless people, including children starve, I have ZERO problem with anyone calling these hatemongering delusional fuckwits "crazy people".

But to bitch at people for calling the shooter crazy and go into conniption over how you "won't stand for ableist fuckery" when a child is dead is not only bullshit but a serious lack of priorities. So I told them to get their priorities straight and focus on the real victims. They proceeded to just shit on me and act like I was betraying them to the "enemy".

They both ended up blocked when I got sick of trying to get through to them. And it reminded me that isms can all too easily be abused.

Seriously? How many people do you know who, should something not go their way, almost immediately blame an ism for it? A black man or a woman doesn't get the job they applied for and immediately accuse the employer of being racist/sexist? I know some employers are and would find excuses for it to avoid hiring "undesirables" but they're statistically few and far between. I know a gay man, friend of my parents, who is a complete and total douchebag, who actually accused the staff at A GAY BAR of being homophobic for tossing him out after other patrons complained he was drunkenly hitting on married men who told him no.

Well fuck that noise. It's bullshit cowardice. It's selfish self-absorbed responsibility deflecting stupidity. It's someone immediately claiming bigotry as a crutch because they don't want to deal with their own flaws.

I'm in a wheelchair. I don't whine and bitch and treat the world like it's out to get me. It's not Joe Blow's fault I'm in it, why should I expect him to coddle me?

I used to cut myself when severely depressed. I don't blame anyone else for that. No one put the razor in my fucking hand. No one forced me at gunpoint to put it to my skin. I did that. Me. My stupidity and I take responsibility for it.

So why can't anyone else just own their own shit? Why do people whine and bitch and think only of themselves and expect the world to hand everything to them because of something innate like skin color or sex or sexuality or something unfortunate but unchangable like a permanent disability? Why does everything that doesn't go your way HAVE to be someone else's fault?

Sometimes people DO screw you. Sometimes bad shit IS someone else's fault. When it is by all means hold them accountable. But when it isn't? Just deal with it already and move on. Learn from it, grow as a person, be better than you are now. Don't hide behind an ism to avoid admitting you need to work on something.

Seriously humanity, grow the fuck up already. Focus on the shit that causes REAL damage. Fight bigotry that's hurting people tangibly. Don't just sit and whine about your own feelings as if they outweigh the rest of the world.

After all, a child is dead. Is a bruised ego really more urgent than that?