Time Off To Heal


I won't be posting diaries for awhile folks. I had an incident last night while I was out getting Fran some smoke and I need some healing time.

A little teenage punk ran past me last night, screamed "Fat fucking dyke!!!", slashed at my boobs then ran off laughing.

Left Breast

Right Breast

And no, I did not bother with either the hospital or the police. My local hospital, Surrey Memorial, has NEVER treated me seriously or respectfully and I've no faith in prompt treatment, and the local police did sweet fuck all on Halloween '08 when I was sexually assaulted so I doubt they'd do sweet fuck all now. Fran has been keeping them clean, disinfected and bandaged with the med supplies left over from last year's pilonidal cyst removal, so I'll be fine, but I need a few days to just veg.

If it makes anyone feel better, the punk didn't get far before the local hookers Fran and I look out for intercepted him and beat him up for me, so justice was served. Moreso than the police'd have ever done.

Cheers all!


Feeling a Little Hopeful At Last

Crossposted on Pam's House Blend

Before I begin, please read these older blogs I wrote in January for some background on my ongoing legal drama.

Consider Me Reminded
Giving Up Is Sometimes Survival

Now, after I had written both of those, I found out at my preliminary hearing I was in fact by LAW in Canada, NOT allowed to enter a Guilty plea if I did not believe I was in any way guilty of the crime I was charged with. After telling the Duty Counsel and the Justice Of The Peace my story and why I was pleading guilty, they informed me that by admitting that I did not feel I actually WAS guilty they refused to accept my plea. They understood why I wanted to, but assured me that Jail Time was NEVER a likely sentence for a minor shoplifting offense and that it would be tantamount to lying under oath. In tears I plead Not Guilty at the reccommendation of a judge and an agent of the crown whose job it was to prosecute criminals.

So yesterday, August 19th, was my trial date. I was apprehensive. My treatment at the Port Coquitlam court in January had not left me feeling terribly reassured in the fairness of the Legal System, and I had still been unable to re-locate my witnesses from the Safeway Parking lot.

And then the Judge called me Miss. He made it a point to clarify with me what titles and pronouns were appropriate for me, and on the rare occasion he fucked up a pronoun he caught himself and immediately apologised. While he did at times seem a little condescending in his need to explain every single procedure to me, he was otherwise bending over backwards to be accepting and supportive.

That alone gave me hope. But that's not all.

Only one of the security gaurds involved in the original incident in June of 09 showed up. The one who made the transphobic statements didn't attend, and the one who did had gone out of his way to exclude any mention of him from his official report.

And the gentleman who DID show up stumbled badly. He had trouble remembering details without his notes. He fumbled badly at EVERY turn. And I caught him in BLATANT lies that even the Judge scolded him for. Among the biggest lies was, when asked by the crown about my emotional state, he claimed I was neither emotional nor upset nor crying, but he felt I was angry and wanted to hurt him.

There was just one problem with that claim. And when it came time for me to cross-examine him with my own questions, (I can't afford a lawyer nor do petty shoplifting offenses qualify for legal aid), I nailed him with his own evidence.

This is the photo the LPO took the day of the false arrest. It was submitted into evidence months before the trial. Holding my copy of it, I asked Iyer, the LPO, to confirm his contention that I was neither crying nor emotional but simply angry I'd been "caught". He stuck to his story.

So I asked the Judge to look at my eyes in the photo and tell me what he saw.

The Judge said he saw, as this close-up shows, "Red puffy eyes, clear evidence of recent or current crying, and tears visible on my cheek. As it's a scan of a photocopy of a print-out the tears may not be fully visible here, but the Judge saw them clearly enough on his copy.

When the Judge asked him to explain why his own photographic evidence contradicted his memory of events, Iyer was at a loss, and hung his head mumbling a vague excuse about not remembering.

The trial ran long and the Court neared closing time, so I unfortunately had to have an adjournment until October, the earliest possible date in which the Crown Prosecutor could be free to resume trying my case. So sadly the ordeal isn't over yet.

However while I'm not going to jinx anything by saying this might be a slam-dunk, I AM very hopeful right now for a number of reasons.

- Iyer was caught in enough inconsistancies and outright lies that even the Judge scolded him.

- Despite my best efforts to maintain my composure while explaining my juvey rapes to the court as my reason for going out of my way to NOT break the law as I would rather die than go through that ever again, the Judge could see the tears and emotion I was fighting to NOT show and expressed sensitivity and understanding to it.

- The Crown, whose job it is to prosecute and convict me, when going over the adjournment with me and asking me about my dumpster-diving for restaurant leftovers, expressed far more concern about whether there were aid resources I could look into to survive better than garbage food than about any details of the case.

Get that last one folks? The GUY WHOSE JOB IT IS TO CONVICT ME was more concerned about my health and living situation than about discussing the actual trial.

As I said, I won't jinx anything by garaunteeing an outcome, but I feel very hopeful right now. Things SEEM to be leaning in my favour. And it gives me hope that there are places in the legal system where a trans/is woman like me can and will be respected, treated kindly, and taken seriously.

And hope is a very wonderful feeling. And I feel it so rarely that I need to share it. I hope that the hope I'm feeling right now might creep into the hearts of all my Trans Sisters and brothers. Hope that sometimes, people in Authority ARE capable of accepting and respecting us, and sometimes, just sometimes, the truth actually matters when it comes to our lives.

I'd rather share hope than misery. So the buffet is open brothers and sisters! Help yourselves! And wish me luck come October that this thing will finally end and I can move on with my life.


Pondering Heartbreak

I made a choice this week to end what was becoming a ceaseless source of drama in my life that was beginning to directly harm my health. Unfortunately, polyamoury comes with significant risk of hurt. And given I'm so broken down I can't even provide physically or sexually for my wife, I'm highly unlikely to allow myself any future possibilities for it in daily life. Those I love online will be quite enough now.

*blows Katie a kiss*

So I'm going to open up personally and deeply here. If that might be an issue stop reading now. Real names will, of course, not be used. **** will be referred to as May and her girlfriend as April.

May met me 2 months too late. When she met me, on Tagged.com, she was instantly attracted to me, Goddess knows why. She flirted with me, though I failed to immediately see it. Under any other circumstances she could've been the mythical "Third" Fran and I had one day hoped to meet, though to be fair, more I than Fran.

Except she'd already met and been with April for a bit over two months. At first her girlfriend seemed fine, and Fran and I were only meeting them as new friends. I hadn't noticed that my new friend had been flirting with me online, and, being my usual thick-skulled self, failed to notice further flirting when we all met at McDonald's. Fran did. Fran actually at first kind of liked April.

To keep this from spiralling into a short novel, I'll skip right into the next week when May admitted for reasons I choose to keep private that she wanted me. We decided to spend more time with them to get to know them.

I really should have trusted Fran's gut and kept my distance at this point. Fran liked May well enough, and we loved May's kids, but we'd both observed that April was a childish irresponsible self-absorbed twat. She was constantly swearing and flashing her chest and genitals in the presence of the children. She had shown them porn to see how they'd react. She never got up to help clean up. She was constantly wasting money that should've been keeping the fridge full on frivolous things, and flirting with Fran in VERY inappropriate aggressive ways with the kids watching.

By her own admission, May knew the kids loved us instantly, whereas two months in the elder two had only just gotten used to April and the youngest still avoided her. The youngest, at three, still wasn't potty-trained, and April was doing nothing to help. After Fran and I both admitted we weren't attracted to April, April suddenly became very neurotic. To a point this was understandable, as she feared losing May to me. But she was offered EVERY chance, asked POINT BLANK if she wanted May and I to NOT get involved.

In the ONLY example April has EVER shown of putting someone else first, she kept insisting she wanted May to be happy and was okay with it, but guilt-tripped us every time we somuch as hugged. Fran had feelings for May too but refused to risk her heart while April was still in the picture, and I decided to take the high road and be just friends with May.

Unfortunately this was too little too late. April knew May was in love with me and continued to guilt-trip us any time we showed each other even slight affection. We tried, for the sake of not causing drama, to tolerate it. Eventually we just stopped visiting them regularly.

This past week May asked us to take her kids for a few days. As April had repeatedly ignored advice to stop getting new pets, (at last count they were up to 5 cats, a rabbit, 5 guinea pigs, three mice and four rats), they had a serious flea infestation, and needed the kids out while they fumigated.

While in our custody we noticed that the youngest had a huge bruise on his leg. When we asked the kids about the bruising, they told us that April "likes to hurt them".

I had bitten my tongue about April's lazy irresponsibility and even about May putting keeping April happy often before the kids' well-being. My conscience wouldn't let me ignore this. So I told May.

Long story short, huge drama. April denied it, May and I ended up fighting over it, and the kids started changing their story.

April messaged me on Facebook to whine in defense of the accusation. I tried to ignore her and not get into it with her, but she kept whining, and the self-absorbed "Oh Poor Me" bullshit was the last straw. She didn't ONCE mention worrying about the kids, or if they were okay, it was all me this and me that. Once again all she cared about was herself.

So I fired off on her telling her to get her shit together and put the kids first before they get taken away by the social worker who's already breathing down May's neck. Then I blocked her.

May bitched at me for flipping out on April. She said if we didn't stop bickering she'd kick BOTH of us out of her life. Since I actually gave a shit about May and her kids, I told her I could live with losing her if it meant April was gone and the kids were safe.

More drama ensued and Fran I decided enough is enough. We both love May, we both love the kids, but as long as May was going to sit by being spineless while April was screwing up the kids' lives, we were washing our hands of it.

I took the kids home, told May to have a nice life but to leave us the hell alone because the Drama was killing me.

I then blocked her phone number, and blocked and deleted her online. The only way she can talk to me now is commenting here or coming to my house. And I doubt she'll do either. I DO wonder if she feels any sadness over losing me, but in the end it isn't my problem. Until she puts her kids above all else and throws April out on her lazy worthless self-absorbed ass, she has no place in our lives. And sadly I think it'll take losing her kids again for her to realize how destructive April is.

Fran says if she ever wises up and loses April she'll happily talkj to MaY again, and that she can be with us where she always should've been. Me? I hope I never see her again. May knows how to manipulate me. May knows my weaknesses. May could have me at her knees in a heartbeat if she really wanted to. But right now May doesn't deserve me.

I chose to walk away. So I know it's my own fault my heart hurts. I just wish she didn't still own a piece of it.


Tranny, Nigger, Faggot and Other Things Bigots Say

Crossposted on Pam's House Blend

So apparently, to the surprise of absolutely no one who's been paying attention for the last 20 years, Doctor Laura Schlessinger is a flaming racist. She has of course, issued a half-assed non-apology since then for saying "Nigger nigger nigger" on her radio show, claiming she meant no racism but was only trying to illustrate the double standard of the word.

The sad part is that, while her way of going about was indeed blatantly racist and boneheaded, she has a valid point. There IS a very sad double-standard on Hate Words, one that only succeeds in perpetuating them.

So I'm going to take a look at some of the most "popular" hate words, and why the obvious problems of common usage are actually outweighed by the less obvious but more devastating problems caused by sanctioned use.

Nigger is, of course, the vile word most often used as a hate word by the white supremist crowd. It's derived from the word Negro and any white person stupid enough to say it, even in jest, around black folks ought not be surprised when he's shitting shoe polish the next day. Faggot, which was originally a word that meant the lighting end of a straw torch once it was lit, and eventually became, (and in the UK still is) British slang for a cigarette, is the most common and vulger slur against homosexual men. Tranny, which Aunty Kate Bornstein assures me began as a positive term used in Australia's trans community 40 years ago, has become the de facto porno term most people think of when dealing with a trans woman, and I can personally confirm most trans woman are offended when non-trans folk say it.

There are of course other hate words for every race. But these are the three I hear most often, so thanks to Doctor Laura's tirade, I'm going to examine the real destructive potential of each.

Nigger is obviously the worst of the three. The malice behind the word nigger is the same malice behind Segregation, The Jim Crow Laws, Seperate But Equal, and Martin Luther King's assassination. Google any of those things and you'll see a plethora of horror stories about the brutal cowardly abuse black people in America have suffered at the hands of cowardly ignorant white folks. But if you Google the word "Nigger" itself, you'll as likely get as many websites for song lyrics as White Supremist websites.

Why? Because damn near every black rapper on earth uses it in their rap. The obstensble reasoning behind this is, supposedly, "Reclaiming the word".

The concept behing reclaiming a hate word is that the group the word is meant to hurt, uses the word freely to disarm it, to nueter it's ability to hurt. And I suppose it's a well-meaning ideal.

Or would be if it came even CLOSE to working.

But we all know it doesn't. If it did, no black people would ever be offended when a non-black person says it. They'd shrug it off as if they'd said "Ice cream" or "Sunshine". But they don't. The word, in the hands of any non-black person, still offends and hurts black people. And what makes it worse is the fact that a huge chunk of the hip-hop audience are middle to upper-class WHITE KIDS, too young to remember the civil rights struggles, who hear Nigga this and nigga that in their favorite music and think the word is cool.

How do I know this? By listening to the white teenagers I see every day at the bus loop greeting each other by saying "Wassap mah nigga?" with absolutely NO trace of irony or awareness.

The same goes for Faggot and Tranny. I know a lot of queer men who loudly call themselves proud faggots, but who get justifiably upset when they hear it from Fred Phelps and his inbred horde. And I've had more than one argument with Kate Bornstein over the use of the word Tranny in her work.

The common logic is that if you are PART of the group a particular work targets, it is perfectly okay for YOU to use it hile anyone else is forbidden.

This is where Doctor Laura and I differ on the double standard.

Where Doctor Laura's argument was that EVERYONE should be free to say nigger and not get any grief, I believe NO ONE should be perpetuating any of these words. I myself am intersexed/trans AND part Japanese, so I have, technically, the right to say Tranny, hermy, and Jap all I like. But I don't for one moment believe I SHOULD.

Black people, gay people and Trans people self-applying these words make the words seem okay to those NOT in the affected group. And reclaiming these words is a bullshit excuse for self-applying them because reclaiming never works. When the word is used OUTSIDE the target group it will ALWAYS have a high likelihood of causing harm and offense. And Doctor Laura proves the double standard. As long as rappers say Nigga every 5 words, idiots like Doctor Laura will be there to say "Well THEY say it so why can't I?" and be completely oblivious to the obvious answer.

17 years ago in high school, I lived in a small town called Vernon here in BC. There was LITERALLY only ONE black family in town, in a population of about 50'000. The elder child of the family was my friend, and because he thought I was one of the cool people being from big cities and not wrapped in small-town mentality, insisted it was okay for me to greet him and refer to him as "My nigga". I had his permission to be racist for lack of a better term. He actually got angry with me for refusing to do so. He took OFFENSE that I wouldn't call him Nigga. It actually ended up ruining our friendship, but I refused to perpetuate the word even with his approval, because I knew other kids would hear it and think "Well if she can say it then I can too" and things would've gotten ugly.

In the last few years I've asked black folks I've become friends with online about that incident. I asked if he was right to be angry at my refusal or if I was right to voice my discomfort and decline his "permission". Some said "It's just a word, if it bothered him he wouldn't have asked you to", but most have pretty much universally agreed that I was in the right to refuse, both because the word is bad itself, and because they think it was unfair of him to put me on the spot and not respecting my discomfort.

So while Doctor Laura did in fact have a point about the double-standard, she got it completely backwards.

NO ONE should flagrantly or flippantly use hatewords, LEAST OF ALL those they're directed at. It's destructive to make them seem okay when it's impossible to use them without causing harm. I didn't even like having to use them in this blog to illustrate my point, and this blog is the only time you're likely to see me ever use them, because they are destructive words.

Some words simply CANNOT be disarmed or reclaimed. And self-perpetuation only aggrivates the problem. I would implore everyone to erase these words from the English language if it were possible.

Hate words will always BE hate words. No matter who is using them.


Bigotry Is Bigotry, No Matter The Source Or The Target

Crossposted on Pam's House Blend

This is hard for me to write, seeing as the motivation for doing so is the loss of a friendship. I am a terminally honest person and I refuse to lie for any reason, even to spare someone's feelings. Unfortunately, when the truth hurts, you find out who your real friends are.

I know, as we all do, several Christians that complete pieces of shit. But I ALSO know, as I hope most do, several Christians who are good decent people who fight for equality right alongside us. These are PEOPLE, and they act based on their own religious choices.

Christianity itself is neither evil nor good. It has equal elements of both, but as a religious philosophy it is in itself nuetral. Evil or good taken FROM Christianity is the responsibility of each individual Christian, or the Churches that interpret it. Christianity itself CANNOT be good or evil, only what people choose to do with it.

So when a friend of mine today was blanket bashing Christianity as evil, and hurting and offending some of my Christian friends who fight for our equality, I stood up to her and took her to task for it.

Bigotry IS bigotry. Regardless of the source or the target. My friend assumed that being a Trans Woman who was forced into a trans version of a NARTH-like camp gave her impunity to bash all Christianity as ever she sees fit. This is utter bullshit. A bad experience NEVER gives you the right to shit on other people.

I myself have been hospitalized by a group of teenagers screaming that god hated my faggot tranny ass. I choose not to blame all Christianity for 7 idiots with an axe to grind.

So let me illustrate this point as bluntly as I can.

"I think homosexuality is evil but I don't hate all homosexuals!"

Sound familar? Of course it does. We hear it from NOM every day.

"Christianity is evil, but I don't hate every Christian."

A quote from my Twitter friend. See the parallel there?

When I meet an idiot Christian bigot tring to condemn my existance, I calmly point out to them the facts about the Bible and Homosexuality, since the truth does not justify the bigotry. I don't blame the religion itself because some idiot read the Bible wrong and uses it to excuse their bigotry.

And by that same token, I won't stand by while someone uses a bad experience to justify bigotry TOWARDS Christianity. ALL bigotry is wrong.

Sadly my now former friend didn't want to believe she was being no better than Maggie Gallagher. Her own words proved her bigotry. She even acknowledged she knew she SOUNDED like a bigot but swore she wasn't. And just like Maggie, my friend resorted to calling me a liar and accusing me of libellous insults rather than believe even the possibility that she might have bigotry in her heart. She resorted to lamenting how I had surrendered to "insanity and delusion" by lying about her and defending the evil Christianity.

The delusion of course, is hers. And she was the only one lobbing insults. I expect the blunt honest truth from my friends and they know to expect such from me.

Bigotry is bigotry. When even the bigot has to acknowledge that what they say might SOUND like bigotry (but fer sure honest totally isn't, I swear!), it's a sad lack of a grip on reality to be in such deep denial of it.

This is why I attack what people like the NOM folks say and do, not their religious faith. I attack their ABUSE of faith, not the faith itself.

Bigotry is bigotry no matter what coat it wears, and all bigotry is wrong. And I will not back down or lie about it to spare someone's feelings. I'm sorry that bigots feel hurt and insulted when they are called bigots. I will NEVER be sorry for telling them truthfully that they ARE bigots.

Even if the truth hurts, lies hurt worse.


A Scary Idea

Crossposted on Pam's House Blend

Listening to the Right Wing Hordes of Evil whine so much this week about the activist judge stealing Californians right to vote has me thinking. And watching Maggie Gallagher publicly contradict herself on the subject made it very clear. I know how we can expose the Religious Right's huge appalling hypocrisy in a way that they can't weasel out of. And it's a terrifying idea with dangerous risks, but it would show their arguments about voters right to be backpeddalling semantic bullshit.

Introduce a bill to limit the freedoms of Arab-Americans.

Scary idea right? Of course it is. And no such bill should ever be tabled. But think about what would happen if it were.

Racism in America is a lot more prevalant than most people want to admit. Especially in a still raw after nearly a decade post-9/11 America. While obviously many people would, at least publicly, decry and denounce such a bill, in the voting booth, no one can see which box you tick.

And all the evidence in America with the pervasive attitudes on display tell me that a majority of voters would tick Yes, no matter their public opinion.

And the much-balleyhooed "Will of the People" will have violated America's constitution and stripped a minority of it's basic garaunteed human right to full equality.

Why did this scary horrifying idea cross my mind? I don't hate Muslims and I'd fight against such a bill if it ever came to pass. But Maggie Gallagher double-stepped on Cooper's show this week. When the minority in question was gay people, Maggie said no judge has any business or right to overturn the popular vote, because the will of the people had spoken against gay equality.

But then just a few minutes later, Cooper pointed out to Maggie that in the 60s, if giving BLACK people equal rights had been put to a popular vote, the "will of the people" would have said no, because racists still outnumbered non-racists, and statistics showed as much. And Cooper asked Maggie what if the popular vote had stripped black people of basic equal rights? And Maggie said the Supreme Court would overturn such a vote because equality can't be voted on.

No, I'm not advocating any bill that would strip ANY minorities rights. What I'm suggesting is a hypothetical example that would force Maggie to admit she and her kind have absolutely NO right to vote any minority into second-class status. Especially considering her husband is Hindu, which to many among the more ignorant in America is interchangable with Muslim; A scary foreign faith they don't understand and don't want mingling with the Baby Jesus.

The USA Constitution garauntees Freedom and equality for all. And NO ONE has any right to vote on someone else's human rights.

So no Rightwing Nutcakes, it isn't the Judge's decision on Prop 8 that violated the Constitution. It was putting Prop 8 on the ballot to begin with.

Teen Leaves Her Church After Being Called a "Bad Role Model"

Crossposted on Pam's House Blend

I stopped by McDonald's last night to get a cold drink while walking our dog and read the paper. The cover story so struck me that I felt it needed to be shared here. For the record, only quotes are copied from the article, the rest will be my own words. Hopefully this gets promoted to the main page on Pam's so everyone can be reminded that we DO in fact still have to deal with this bullshit up here in the mythical Queer Haven of Canada.

Vancouver Pride has come and gone this year. And it was a success as usual, with, for me, the exception of my friend Sophia not being able to make it from Portland due to a flat.

This year though, some of Vancouver's Suburbs are throwing their own Pride bashes. Here in Surrey we had one the weekend before Vancouver's. And across the Fraser River in New Westminster, they're having Pride festivities on August 7th.

However, a photo snapped and published by New West's local paper, the Royal City Recor, has resulted in heartbreak for the lesbian teenager in it.

Tory Inglis posed for this picture;

-with the New West Pride organizers. And a month after seeing it, her church asked her tocome in and speak to the Minister.

“Basically, they told me that I wasn’t being a positive role model for the youth in the church and the younger children, and that I was promoting a sexual lifestyle,”
“Basically, they told me that I wasn’t being a positive role model for the youth in the church and the younger children, and that I was promoting a sexual lifestyle,”

“Basically, they told me that I wasn’t being a positive role model for the youth in the church and the younger children and that I was promoting a sexual lifestyle,” Inglis said. “It’s really hard to hear from this place where I was pretty much raised that I was now different.”

Inglis said she was brought to tears several times during the meeting and was pressured to quit the Pride committee.

Instead, she took the TRULY moral high road and, despite the deep personal pain it causes her, quit her church instead.

Tory was one of the leaders of the Church's Junoir Youth group, and had made it a point to respect her church's anti-gay marriage stance by not discussing her sexuality in Church group meetings.

She didn't think the Pride photo would cause such a stir as it was neither on Church grounds nor on Church time. But she was chastised anyway and belittled by her church.

Tory's parents also quit the Church in support of their daughter. Her mom was quoted saying “Our belief is that God created us to be who we are, and I’ve raised her to be true to who she is.”

The family has received a surprising amount of support from other members of the congregatrion who think the Minister overstepped.

Tory didn't pose for the Pride photo to make a political statement, nor did she quit her Church to make a political protest.

“Above all, I want to promote peace and love and acceptance. And in a place that condemns people for loving, I would much rather be in a place that accepts people for who they are.”

The Minister in question is now on a conveniently timed vacation and has been thus unavailable for comment to any media trying to get one, but according to the section on the Presbyterian Church in Canada's Social Action Handbook, it is AGAINST Church policy to "Limit the roles of its members based on sexual orientation".

In other words, the Minister violated Church policy by scolding her at all, let alone by trying to pressure her into quitting the Pride Committee.

Colin Carmicheal,the Pres. Church's associate secretary of communication in Canada said "What I can say is, as it was reported in (local Vancouver Newspaper) The Province, it doesn't seem to be consistant with the policies of the Presbyterian Church. It would seem inconsistant for us in the way it was reported that she should be forced to make that choice."

Colin has tried in vain to reach ANY senior official at Tory's now former Church to find out what happened. It seems even to him like the brass there are avoiding comment.

Reverend Jim Smith, moderator of the Presbytery of Westminster, a ruling court that oversees 27 Lower Mainland BC Congregations including Tory's Church has declined to pass judgement until the Minister in question can offer his side of the story. He is however sympathetic to Tory's heartbreak.

"Pastorally it's saddening. That is neither the policy nor the theology of the Presbyterian Church in Canada. If the details as reported are accurate, at the very least then it was handled badly pastorally."

Reverend Timothy Bruneau may want to stay on vacation, as he has a VERY hot seat waiting for his return, with not only the local and national media wanting to talk to him, but higher-ups in his own faith having serious WTF questions for him.

Even US Gay magazine The Advocate wants to talk to him. The man be famous all over North America. Sadly, it'll be the kind of fame that folks like Maggie Gallagher has, where a fundie minority applauds while everyone else is appalled.

As for Tory and her family, they're looking for another Church that will openly accept them, and Vancouver has more than enough of those. Tori explains that her faith is a big part of her life, and she doesn't see why her church and her sexuality should be mutually exclusive.

Personally, after the last few weeks of being attacked by Louis Marinelli and Reverend David Mapes, I find it refreshing to learn that Tori's case actually angered senior Church officials of her faith, and that her former Minister is likely to be chastised for his hateful actions. I wish Tori success in finding a new Church, though I wish even more her Minister is replaced so she can simply go home.


Louis Marinelli Caught Lying AGAIN (In Other News, Ducks Quack)

Crossposted on Pam's House Blend

So Louis has been aggressively censoring new comments on his blog. Mostly from me, the most hateful lesbian he's met. No shock there. He let a few of my comments through one day presumably thinking that doing so would prove he wasn't singling me out for censorship. Specifically comments that included my accusing him of censorship for not allowing several other prior comments through. For once in his misbegotten life, he actually addressed something I said. This is what Louis posted to justify censoring me.

Now of course we all know this is complete bullshit on his part. Calling someone a liar when you've provided actual proof they lied is NOT a personal attack, and I go OUT OF MY WAY to not swear or cuss on his blog specifically to prevent him having an excuse to censor me. Of course since he HAS censored me, and moreso has PUBLICLY ADMITTED TO DOING SO, he shot himself in the foot once again.

Sure he can claim every comment of mine he censored was full of nothing but me saying "Louis you're a fucking moronic piece of shit", (which incidentally is a true description of him but I have NEVER said anything close to resembling it on his blog), but since he, by his own admission, HAS censored them, he now cannot prove his claims.

This however is not actually the lie I caught him in, since, with my comments not approved, I can't prove I DIDN'T cuss at him and I know it. However...

Louis' excuse for censoring all but a bare handful of my comments is his claim that he will not publish comments that, in his words, "include offensive language or personal attacks. That type of language is unnecessary".

And the very next day, Louis proved he was lying, when he allowed this anonymous homophobia to go through.

Caught you again Louis. Or is your cesorship policy to cover only "offensive language or personal attacks" against those who side with you, but perfectly acceptable when derogatory towards your opponents?

Once again, Louis J. Marinelli; A proven Liar, a Moral Coward, a pathetic excuse for a human being.


Life Goes On.... Oh Bla Dee....

I just found out the sperm donor died finally last night around 7PM. Larry was in his early seventies, and had been struggling with colon cancer and tongue cancer for years. It had been years more since the last time I gave enough of a shit about the man to attempt any contact. That bastard doesn't deserve a single tear from me... so
why am I crying?

I remember I loved him once, when I was little, visiting him at summer break and Christmas, before I was old enough to really understand his evil. He beat up my mom and stepmom, he let his little brother molest me, he actively worked to turn me against my stepfather.

He convinced my half-sisters that their mom lied about abuse I WITNESSED FIRST HAND so they'd hate her and worship him, while I have a cigarette burn in my left palm HE put there when I was 8 GODDAMN MONTHS OLD because he caught me chewing on record player parts he'd left on the floor. Hell he's the man who without even consulting my mother agreed to the Doctors' pressure to butcher my infant genitals to make me a "boy".

And when I told him I was living fulltime as a woman he disowned me and told his family I died in a car wreck.

He was thoroughly evil. So why am I sobbing? Why am I giving that bastard tears he doesn't deserve? Yeah he was my father but he was never my Dad. Then again in a family where HIS mom made him at age 5 take his pet cat out in the back yard and SHOOT it because she disliked it's yowling? I don't think Larry ever stood a chance at being a decent human being. Jean was an evil bgitter woman. She was a closeted lesbian her whole life til the very end, when she confessed it to my grandfather as a final fuck you to the family she'd spent her whole life taking her bitterness out on.

And in the end, he was still my father I guess...

Maybe I'm crying because I'm relieved that long ugly chunk of my life is over. Maybe I'm mourning the imaginary image of my Daddy that never really existed. Maybe you just can't help but weep when family dies, even if it's family that abused you and you should hate. I don't know.

I just know that my father is dead and I'm crying.

Life is funny that way.