And my lifetime of nasty painful dehumanizing complications that resulted from my being "corrected" at birth. In response to ABC News, let me tell you MY story about the results of "correcting" an intersexed child.
Crossposted on Pam's House Blend
Because my vagina was pinhole sized. They assumed I'd never get more than a pinky finger in it, much less a man's almighty penis, (which is sadly their main criteria when making these decisions; Will they be able to have "normal" hetero sex?), so they cauterized the mucous membranes with a heated metal rod and sewed up the tiny hole, leaving what visually appeared to be a normal if a wee bit below average penis and one testicle with a small scar.
Only my father was consulted. My mother was told they just needed to remove a growth. Except they failed to actually bother wasting any time doing silly things like a full internal examination. If they had they'd have found my uterus and maybe thought twice about the whole "She'll be happier as a boy" idea. (Helpful Hint; They were WRONG). Or they might have removed it and spared me a lot of grief.
I didn't actually know I was intersexed until 9 years ago while undergoing a full spate of physical tests at the gender clinic that used to be downtown in Vancouver before the BC Liberal stripped it of funding because it was "Frivolous spending". They discovered my true biology right at the same time they realized my blood disorder meant invasive surgeries would likely kill me.
See, until then, I had just thought I was a chronically ill MTF transsexual woman who had for some reason grown breasts. Sometimes I was actually stupid enough to believe I had breasts because I had somehow willed them to grow in my desire to be a girl. But around age 12 when they began growing, I started getting really sick every month. No doctor took me seriously because my parents told them I was probably faking to avoid school, (You can imagine how much I hated school, but still), and for years I never got thorough satisfactory answers or even seriously tested to see what was wrong with me. It's where I first learned to not trust doctors.
My problem? The uterus and my one ovary are functional. Imagine the joy of PMS when, thanks to sexist asshole binary enforcing doctors, the goddamn blood has NOWHERE to go. My body goes through painful PMS, then averages two weeks of chronic stomach pain and nausea as my body is forced to re-absorb blood it should be expelling, and because of my progressive blood disorder there's NO way this can be fixed now. So I'm doomed to a lifetime of needless suffering all because doctors thought they had a right to make that choice for me at birth.
If anyone has any questions about intersex from the horse's mouth, my e-mail is theaerie@shaw.ca
The worst part is that when I was FINALLY given access to my birth records, to learn exactly what was done, I learned I was years beyond any recourse to be compensated. The doctor who made the decision and lead the surgery had died 3 years before I found out, and every lawyer I consulted said no judge would hold the actual hospital accountable. My only comfort is knowing at least the bastard won't screw up anymore children ever again.
The choice should ALWAYS be the child's, when they're old enough to understand.
3/17/2011
2/28/2011
This Is VERY Simple
UPDATE Justin no longer works at Change.org and Shelby Knox has personally apologised to me for the ridiculous way in which he treated me. I consider the issue resolved.
Change.org Community Manager "Justin" has TWICE deleted my account from Change.org and deleted comments I posted. Why? Because as a Rape Survivor I stood up to crude offensive rape apologist men in comments threads on Change.org. I double checked, every misogynist sexist "Oh rape isn't so bad you bitches probably liked it get over yourselves" type comment I responded to remains online, unedited, uncensored, and clearly not deleted. My justifiably angry "You are a hateful idiot and your disgusting neanderthal opinion of rape survivors is disgusting as are you" replies all are deleted.
Justin's explanation for censoring me amounted to a condescending "There there little lady, we can't have wimmins posting angry profane comments to our lil ole activism site, even if that big ole man is being a bit douchey."
So click that button, sign that petition while it still exists because I'm DAMN sure Justin will delete it. He's proven he's a selective activist, and a man who will happily punish the victim if she stands up for herself.
Sign it before it's gone.
Change.org Community Manager "Justin" has TWICE deleted my account from Change.org and deleted comments I posted. Why? Because as a Rape Survivor I stood up to crude offensive rape apologist men in comments threads on Change.org. I double checked, every misogynist sexist "Oh rape isn't so bad you bitches probably liked it get over yourselves" type comment I responded to remains online, unedited, uncensored, and clearly not deleted. My justifiably angry "You are a hateful idiot and your disgusting neanderthal opinion of rape survivors is disgusting as are you" replies all are deleted.
Justin's explanation for censoring me amounted to a condescending "There there little lady, we can't have wimmins posting angry profane comments to our lil ole activism site, even if that big ole man is being a bit douchey."
So click that button, sign that petition while it still exists because I'm DAMN sure Justin will delete it. He's proven he's a selective activist, and a man who will happily punish the victim if she stands up for herself.
Sign it before it's gone.
2/11/2011
Because Porno Pete Is All About Being Open and Honest
Crossposted on Pam's House Blend
Update; Hat-tipped on Truth Wins Out
I'm guessing poor Porno Petey, AKA Peter LaBarbera of Americans forlying through their teeth about gays Truth About Homosexualty, was getting tired of us nasty mean ole GLBT folks like Joe Sudbay, Jeremy Hooper and Wayne Besen & Evan Hurst using HIS OWN WORDS to show what a hypocritical, deceitful douchehat he really is.
You see, all the bloggers I listed above, plus several others including Pam and Alvin of the site I crosspost these on, have frequently screencapped little nuggets of batshittery and hateful glee from poor Petey's very own Twitter account. And there've been some real doozeys over the past couple years. But Petey seems to have grown JUST enough of a brain to finally realize his own words are shotting his hateful cause in the ass. Most likely after seeing how Maggie Gallager and Tony Perkins, both of whom use the same playbook, had THEIR hateful rhetoric backfire on them in Maryland when their lies and bile actually convinced one senator to change his mind about supporting equal marriage, for the better.
Why, you may ask, do I think this? Well, every few days I go and read Petey's Twitter Feed to see what asinine mindnumbingly delusional reality-deficient crap he's spouting that day. But when I went to do so just a mere 15 minutes ago, I saw this;
Seems Petey's "zeal for truth" doesn't include having enough faith in his own words to let just anyone see them anymore. Maybe he's finally realizing, thanks to the spectacular failure in Maryland of his hatemongering peers, that people CAN see through his lies, and that the more folks that get to read the vile bile he spews, the more people his cause will chase away. People can only be fooled by the same tired lies so many times before even the fearful naive sheep he preys on start to question why that one sheep who keeps telling them the dark spooky forest is safer for them than the wide open field where the farmer can see them has wolf paws.
Because Peter LaBarbera is ALL about honesty and transparency because of his zeal for truth. Right?
You may commence uncontrollable fits of derisive laughter now.
Update; Hat-tipped on Truth Wins Out
I'm guessing poor Porno Petey, AKA Peter LaBarbera of Americans for
You see, all the bloggers I listed above, plus several others including Pam and Alvin of the site I crosspost these on, have frequently screencapped little nuggets of batshittery and hateful glee from poor Petey's very own Twitter account. And there've been some real doozeys over the past couple years. But Petey seems to have grown JUST enough of a brain to finally realize his own words are shotting his hateful cause in the ass. Most likely after seeing how Maggie Gallager and Tony Perkins, both of whom use the same playbook, had THEIR hateful rhetoric backfire on them in Maryland when their lies and bile actually convinced one senator to change his mind about supporting equal marriage, for the better.
Why, you may ask, do I think this? Well, every few days I go and read Petey's Twitter Feed to see what asinine mindnumbingly delusional reality-deficient crap he's spouting that day. But when I went to do so just a mere 15 minutes ago, I saw this;
Seems Petey's "zeal for truth" doesn't include having enough faith in his own words to let just anyone see them anymore. Maybe he's finally realizing, thanks to the spectacular failure in Maryland of his hatemongering peers, that people CAN see through his lies, and that the more folks that get to read the vile bile he spews, the more people his cause will chase away. People can only be fooled by the same tired lies so many times before even the fearful naive sheep he preys on start to question why that one sheep who keeps telling them the dark spooky forest is safer for them than the wide open field where the farmer can see them has wolf paws.
Because Peter LaBarbera is ALL about honesty and transparency because of his zeal for truth. Right?
You may commence uncontrollable fits of derisive laughter now.
2/08/2011
Dealing With Classic Derailing When Teaching About Trans Lives
Crossposted on Pam's House Blend
For the past two weeks I've been all over the damned net trying to maintain my temper while dealing with a very depressingly high concentration of white middle to upper class gay men posting comments on various websites in reply to articles or blogs about the SNL Estro-Maxx sketch or the Craig Ferguson "My long lost half sister Peg" sketch. There are reasons so many trans folk are losing faith and trust in a large chunk of the gay community, feeling like we're conveniant tools to help fight their pet causes but to be discarded or thrown under a bus when WE need them. Honestly I actually have less issues with femisogynist lesbians bashing us the last two weeks than with smug dismissive gay men.
The general consencus among these white Gay en is that we in the trans community should just lighten the fuck up because these two skits were all in good fun, just harmless jokes doncha know? We're just too damn oversensitive, we need to lighten up and grow a funnybone.
Yadda yadda yadda.
I've cited Derailing for Dummies so many times the past two weeks I almost have the whole bloody thing memorized.
So I'm going to paste a couple things here. The comment of mine that got the most likes on Disqus and got the most people saying "Okay maybe you're right" of the hundreds I've posted the past two weeks, and the classic derail attempt it was in reply to.
The Derail attempt. (After I'd been pushed to start cussing in frustration at the bullshit lengths these guys were going to to avoid admitting the harm being done. 500 points if you can spot the classic derail attempt).
"It's really too bad that you can't keep a civil tone and refrain from the profanity (and that goes for everyone)--it would really give more credence to your arguments. That said...do you happen to notice that "Peg" seems pretty happy with herself? So, if you're taking the leap to casting her as transgender, she's out and proud. But I agree with the previous posters who equate this to Milton Berle, Flip Wilson and I'll add Jonathan Winters and all the Kids in the Hall and Catherine Tate (look them up). The comic conceit of "obvious bad drag" does not a transgendered character make. So before you cast stones at CBS and Craig Ferguson, consider what you're really criticizing. (In this case, it's simply a monotonous skit."
And my reply, the one which got the most Disqus likes and got through to people.
"Nope, sorry, but you're just classic derailing again to be able to dismiss me so you don't have to acknowledge you're completely wrong. Using a tone argument, "You're being too angry/hostile/profane therefore nothing you say is of any import" is classic derailing done by privileged idiots who don't want to have to expand their worldview to include the lives of marginalized people. This is how you convince yourself you'e better than me and therefore your inherant superiority automatically disempowers my justified rage in your mind, and you can dismiss me as overreacting.
So the only one losing ANY credibility here is YOU. Especially given the examples you cite, which back up NOT your arguments but mine. Earlier you argued that men wearing women's clothing didn't automaticaly equate to trans bashing. I agreed but argued that in the case of the SNL sketch and the Ferguson sketch it did because gender variance was the sole and only point of the "joke" in these cases. By citing comedians like Berle, Wilson, KITH and Winters, you're only strengthening MY argument, because NONE of those comedians were playing gender itself as the joke. They were all always portraying actual women when they crossdressed for comedy. Flip Wilson's Geraldine for example was NEVER played for "Man in a dress" laughs, she was played for "Angry black mother" laughs. The character was a straight-on woman, and the jokes were rooted on her attitude, NOT her bodyparts.
SNL and Ferguson cannot say the same. The entire point of both sketches was to mock gender variance, and you CANNOT argue it away or deny it in Craig's case just because the guy playing Peg has come out before as male characters and tried to disgust the audience.
Both sketches relied on negative demeaning stereotypes of trans women to get their laughs. Both mocked trans women as silly freakish people who are just weird and abnormal and there to be mocked or treated like sexual deviants. Both used facial hair to emphasize the whole "This is just a man in a dress" meme.
So sorry asshole, but your derailing attempts have failed and so has your lameass privilege based argument. And my very justified anger, amplified by your staggeringly self-absorbed ignorant arrogance, does not dilute the fact that I am RIGHT, you are WRONG, your privilege has made you ignorant of what trans people have to truly put up with, the damage shit like this does us, and the damage YOU do by perpetuating it rather than educating.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. YOU are not trans, so YOU do NOT get to tell US what is or is not offensive to us."
I wish it didn't take me being pushed to the limits of my already pain-reduced patience to drive me to a point where I can articulate myself enough to actually get the fuck THROUGH to people, but sometimes anger can be a good tool if you find the right lens through which to focus it.
I just wish I could've gotten through to more people. The bulk of those I've been dealing with still think we're all just uptight humorless trannies who need to take a joke.
But if SNL or Craig had done a sketch with a white guy in blackface singing Mammy, or a guy playing a hyper effeminate gay man looking for 10 year old boys to show his "lollypop" to, these assholes would be first in line out for blood demanding SNL/Ferguson apologize for the bigotry and that they remove the offending sketch.
But hey, we're just silly trannies, we just need to learn to take a joke. Right?
Wrong.
And I don't care who I piss off by having the nerve to stand up for myself and my sisters. Our lives are NOT material for bad comedy.
For the past two weeks I've been all over the damned net trying to maintain my temper while dealing with a very depressingly high concentration of white middle to upper class gay men posting comments on various websites in reply to articles or blogs about the SNL Estro-Maxx sketch or the Craig Ferguson "My long lost half sister Peg" sketch. There are reasons so many trans folk are losing faith and trust in a large chunk of the gay community, feeling like we're conveniant tools to help fight their pet causes but to be discarded or thrown under a bus when WE need them. Honestly I actually have less issues with femisogynist lesbians bashing us the last two weeks than with smug dismissive gay men.
The general consencus among these white Gay en is that we in the trans community should just lighten the fuck up because these two skits were all in good fun, just harmless jokes doncha know? We're just too damn oversensitive, we need to lighten up and grow a funnybone.
Yadda yadda yadda.
I've cited Derailing for Dummies so many times the past two weeks I almost have the whole bloody thing memorized.
So I'm going to paste a couple things here. The comment of mine that got the most likes on Disqus and got the most people saying "Okay maybe you're right" of the hundreds I've posted the past two weeks, and the classic derail attempt it was in reply to.
The Derail attempt. (After I'd been pushed to start cussing in frustration at the bullshit lengths these guys were going to to avoid admitting the harm being done. 500 points if you can spot the classic derail attempt).
"It's really too bad that you can't keep a civil tone and refrain from the profanity (and that goes for everyone)--it would really give more credence to your arguments. That said...do you happen to notice that "Peg" seems pretty happy with herself? So, if you're taking the leap to casting her as transgender, she's out and proud. But I agree with the previous posters who equate this to Milton Berle, Flip Wilson and I'll add Jonathan Winters and all the Kids in the Hall and Catherine Tate (look them up). The comic conceit of "obvious bad drag" does not a transgendered character make. So before you cast stones at CBS and Craig Ferguson, consider what you're really criticizing. (In this case, it's simply a monotonous skit."
And my reply, the one which got the most Disqus likes and got through to people.
"Nope, sorry, but you're just classic derailing again to be able to dismiss me so you don't have to acknowledge you're completely wrong. Using a tone argument, "You're being too angry/hostile/profane therefore nothing you say is of any import" is classic derailing done by privileged idiots who don't want to have to expand their worldview to include the lives of marginalized people. This is how you convince yourself you'e better than me and therefore your inherant superiority automatically disempowers my justified rage in your mind, and you can dismiss me as overreacting.
So the only one losing ANY credibility here is YOU. Especially given the examples you cite, which back up NOT your arguments but mine. Earlier you argued that men wearing women's clothing didn't automaticaly equate to trans bashing. I agreed but argued that in the case of the SNL sketch and the Ferguson sketch it did because gender variance was the sole and only point of the "joke" in these cases. By citing comedians like Berle, Wilson, KITH and Winters, you're only strengthening MY argument, because NONE of those comedians were playing gender itself as the joke. They were all always portraying actual women when they crossdressed for comedy. Flip Wilson's Geraldine for example was NEVER played for "Man in a dress" laughs, she was played for "Angry black mother" laughs. The character was a straight-on woman, and the jokes were rooted on her attitude, NOT her bodyparts.
SNL and Ferguson cannot say the same. The entire point of both sketches was to mock gender variance, and you CANNOT argue it away or deny it in Craig's case just because the guy playing Peg has come out before as male characters and tried to disgust the audience.
Both sketches relied on negative demeaning stereotypes of trans women to get their laughs. Both mocked trans women as silly freakish people who are just weird and abnormal and there to be mocked or treated like sexual deviants. Both used facial hair to emphasize the whole "This is just a man in a dress" meme.
So sorry asshole, but your derailing attempts have failed and so has your lameass privilege based argument. And my very justified anger, amplified by your staggeringly self-absorbed ignorant arrogance, does not dilute the fact that I am RIGHT, you are WRONG, your privilege has made you ignorant of what trans people have to truly put up with, the damage shit like this does us, and the damage YOU do by perpetuating it rather than educating.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. YOU are not trans, so YOU do NOT get to tell US what is or is not offensive to us."
I wish it didn't take me being pushed to the limits of my already pain-reduced patience to drive me to a point where I can articulate myself enough to actually get the fuck THROUGH to people, but sometimes anger can be a good tool if you find the right lens through which to focus it.
I just wish I could've gotten through to more people. The bulk of those I've been dealing with still think we're all just uptight humorless trannies who need to take a joke.
But if SNL or Craig had done a sketch with a white guy in blackface singing Mammy, or a guy playing a hyper effeminate gay man looking for 10 year old boys to show his "lollypop" to, these assholes would be first in line out for blood demanding SNL/Ferguson apologize for the bigotry and that they remove the offending sketch.
But hey, we're just silly trannies, we just need to learn to take a joke. Right?
Wrong.
And I don't care who I piss off by having the nerve to stand up for myself and my sisters. Our lives are NOT material for bad comedy.
1/09/2011
The Flip Side of Isms
Crossposted on Pam's House Blend
As a woman who is mixed race, overweight, intersex, and a lesbian, I've had to put up with all the major ism's and bigotries we all know and love. (Snrk). Racism, sexism, fatphobia, ageism from teenagers who think anyone over 30 is useless, homophobia, transphobia, etcetera. I know all too well that bigotry causes harm and is destructive.
But earlier today I got sucked into an argument with some now former friends on Twitter over Ableism and it reminded me that every "ism" is a double edged sword and that humanity in general is mostly selfish self-absorbed lazy cowards unable to take responsibility for themselves.
Ableism for those unfamiliar with it is fear and/or abuse of physicaly and/or mentally disabled people. As a disabled person also, I'm not in the least oblivious to the fact that ableism DOES exist and treating disabled people dismissively as if they're automatically useless, crazy, lazy or faking for sympathy happens a lot and can be very hurtful and destructive. But like so many "isms", I find more often than nor it's a cheap defense used as an excuse to be coddled or protected from reality.
I'm sure most of you have heard about yesterday;s shooting in Arzona, which among other things left a goddamned NINE YEAR OLD CHILD DEAD. Now to me, when something that bad happens, the last thing I'm thinking about is me or how words make me feel. My thoughts were squarely on the dead child and feeling heartbroken and angry that this even happened.
Naturally a lot of people think the shooter was completely batshit and said so on Twitter. As someone with a history of mental issues this, according to my ableism fighting "friends", should automatically hurt my fee fees and mortally offend me.
It doesn't. The bastard who opened fire in a crowd to kill a judge and a senator clearly is not right in the head. All evidence says he was a Teabagger, a group of bigoted hateful people to begin with, most of whom are very much not right in the head. From people who still insist Obama is Muslim or foreign born despite overwhelming evidence otherwise to people who spend millions to prevent GLBT equality at all costs while letting homeless people, including children starve, I have ZERO problem with anyone calling these hatemongering delusional fuckwits "crazy people".
But to bitch at people for calling the shooter crazy and go into conniption over how you "won't stand for ableist fuckery" when a child is dead is not only bullshit but a serious lack of priorities. So I told them to get their priorities straight and focus on the real victims. They proceeded to just shit on me and act like I was betraying them to the "enemy".
They both ended up blocked when I got sick of trying to get through to them. And it reminded me that isms can all too easily be abused.
Seriously? How many people do you know who, should something not go their way, almost immediately blame an ism for it? A black man or a woman doesn't get the job they applied for and immediately accuse the employer of being racist/sexist? I know some employers are and would find excuses for it to avoid hiring "undesirables" but they're statistically few and far between. I know a gay man, friend of my parents, who is a complete and total douchebag, who actually accused the staff at A GAY BAR of being homophobic for tossing him out after other patrons complained he was drunkenly hitting on married men who told him no.
Well fuck that noise. It's bullshit cowardice. It's selfish self-absorbed responsibility deflecting stupidity. It's someone immediately claiming bigotry as a crutch because they don't want to deal with their own flaws.
I'm in a wheelchair. I don't whine and bitch and treat the world like it's out to get me. It's not Joe Blow's fault I'm in it, why should I expect him to coddle me?
I used to cut myself when severely depressed. I don't blame anyone else for that. No one put the razor in my fucking hand. No one forced me at gunpoint to put it to my skin. I did that. Me. My stupidity and I take responsibility for it.
So why can't anyone else just own their own shit? Why do people whine and bitch and think only of themselves and expect the world to hand everything to them because of something innate like skin color or sex or sexuality or something unfortunate but unchangable like a permanent disability? Why does everything that doesn't go your way HAVE to be someone else's fault?
Sometimes people DO screw you. Sometimes bad shit IS someone else's fault. When it is by all means hold them accountable. But when it isn't? Just deal with it already and move on. Learn from it, grow as a person, be better than you are now. Don't hide behind an ism to avoid admitting you need to work on something.
Seriously humanity, grow the fuck up already. Focus on the shit that causes REAL damage. Fight bigotry that's hurting people tangibly. Don't just sit and whine about your own feelings as if they outweigh the rest of the world.
After all, a child is dead. Is a bruised ego really more urgent than that?
As a woman who is mixed race, overweight, intersex, and a lesbian, I've had to put up with all the major ism's and bigotries we all know and love. (Snrk). Racism, sexism, fatphobia, ageism from teenagers who think anyone over 30 is useless, homophobia, transphobia, etcetera. I know all too well that bigotry causes harm and is destructive.
But earlier today I got sucked into an argument with some now former friends on Twitter over Ableism and it reminded me that every "ism" is a double edged sword and that humanity in general is mostly selfish self-absorbed lazy cowards unable to take responsibility for themselves.
Ableism for those unfamiliar with it is fear and/or abuse of physicaly and/or mentally disabled people. As a disabled person also, I'm not in the least oblivious to the fact that ableism DOES exist and treating disabled people dismissively as if they're automatically useless, crazy, lazy or faking for sympathy happens a lot and can be very hurtful and destructive. But like so many "isms", I find more often than nor it's a cheap defense used as an excuse to be coddled or protected from reality.
I'm sure most of you have heard about yesterday;s shooting in Arzona, which among other things left a goddamned NINE YEAR OLD CHILD DEAD. Now to me, when something that bad happens, the last thing I'm thinking about is me or how words make me feel. My thoughts were squarely on the dead child and feeling heartbroken and angry that this even happened.
Naturally a lot of people think the shooter was completely batshit and said so on Twitter. As someone with a history of mental issues this, according to my ableism fighting "friends", should automatically hurt my fee fees and mortally offend me.
It doesn't. The bastard who opened fire in a crowd to kill a judge and a senator clearly is not right in the head. All evidence says he was a Teabagger, a group of bigoted hateful people to begin with, most of whom are very much not right in the head. From people who still insist Obama is Muslim or foreign born despite overwhelming evidence otherwise to people who spend millions to prevent GLBT equality at all costs while letting homeless people, including children starve, I have ZERO problem with anyone calling these hatemongering delusional fuckwits "crazy people".
But to bitch at people for calling the shooter crazy and go into conniption over how you "won't stand for ableist fuckery" when a child is dead is not only bullshit but a serious lack of priorities. So I told them to get their priorities straight and focus on the real victims. They proceeded to just shit on me and act like I was betraying them to the "enemy".
They both ended up blocked when I got sick of trying to get through to them. And it reminded me that isms can all too easily be abused.
Seriously? How many people do you know who, should something not go their way, almost immediately blame an ism for it? A black man or a woman doesn't get the job they applied for and immediately accuse the employer of being racist/sexist? I know some employers are and would find excuses for it to avoid hiring "undesirables" but they're statistically few and far between. I know a gay man, friend of my parents, who is a complete and total douchebag, who actually accused the staff at A GAY BAR of being homophobic for tossing him out after other patrons complained he was drunkenly hitting on married men who told him no.
Well fuck that noise. It's bullshit cowardice. It's selfish self-absorbed responsibility deflecting stupidity. It's someone immediately claiming bigotry as a crutch because they don't want to deal with their own flaws.
I'm in a wheelchair. I don't whine and bitch and treat the world like it's out to get me. It's not Joe Blow's fault I'm in it, why should I expect him to coddle me?
I used to cut myself when severely depressed. I don't blame anyone else for that. No one put the razor in my fucking hand. No one forced me at gunpoint to put it to my skin. I did that. Me. My stupidity and I take responsibility for it.
So why can't anyone else just own their own shit? Why do people whine and bitch and think only of themselves and expect the world to hand everything to them because of something innate like skin color or sex or sexuality or something unfortunate but unchangable like a permanent disability? Why does everything that doesn't go your way HAVE to be someone else's fault?
Sometimes people DO screw you. Sometimes bad shit IS someone else's fault. When it is by all means hold them accountable. But when it isn't? Just deal with it already and move on. Learn from it, grow as a person, be better than you are now. Don't hide behind an ism to avoid admitting you need to work on something.
Seriously humanity, grow the fuck up already. Focus on the shit that causes REAL damage. Fight bigotry that's hurting people tangibly. Don't just sit and whine about your own feelings as if they outweigh the rest of the world.
After all, a child is dead. Is a bruised ego really more urgent than that?
12/05/2010
Something to Make You All Laugh (Just Don't Choke On Your Drinks)
Crossposted on Pam's House Blend
From my private messages on FetLife.com, wherein an anti-gay windbag, concerned for my well-being, (you know, that whopper lie these types tell themselves to NOT feel like hateful bigots) decided to try to save me directly rather than keep getting his ass handed to him in the forum he had been posting on.
This began because, like so many, I responded in the forum to his bile by using myself to deflate his "Only two sexes, nature says violating the opposite sex status quo is wrong yadda yadda" crap.
PurrrplePenny
PurrrplePenny 36IS
Surrey, British Columbia
written 1 day ago:
But you are indeed a huge flaming idiot. Having read your bile as it relates to dismissing the lives and loves of my friends here, which of course you insist is not hate or bigotry, (just like all ignorant bleating homophobes do), I'm afraid I must deflate that little bubble you live in.
First of all, there are most certainly NOT only two distinct sexes. I'm living proof of this troll boy. Go look at my pictures. I automatically just by existing prove you're mistaken and speaking out of your ass.
Second, homosexuality is VERY natural. It occurs in THOUSANDS of species, not just humans. It's a population control tool, when there are too damned many of something, Nature makes a small percentage gay, to curb breeding and provide extra care for the excess of offspring.
Third, "Love the sinner hate the sin" is the single biggest bullshit excuse folks like you use to hide your bigotry. Not only can I prove that the Bible is NOT NEARLY so anti-gay as folks like you want to claim, but it's a RELIGIOUS view, and religion, unlike homosexuality, is very much a choice. No one is born Christian, you have to be taught. But all credible research shows it is extremely unlikely that ANYONE chooses to be something so vilified that it risks getting them beaten to death every time they leave the house.
- A happily and very much legally MARRIED LESBIAN.
This got kudos from others in the forum, but he decided to then take it directly to my inbox.
Anon-dom
Anon-dom 49M
Beacon, New York
written 1 day ago:
I assure you that the attempts to justify same-sex sex will always be offensive nonsense.That something occurs in nature does not mean it is not deplorable or appalling.Your birth defect is unfortunate but not nearly as sad as your pretending it isn't.
If you DON'T "hate the sin",you're only PRETENDING to love the sinner...I'm not a religious person,I don't think the Bible is of divine origin,and I'm not advocating beating anyone to death.But to treat homosexual orientation as excusing homosexual activity is no better than telling an alcoholic to keep drinking until he dies...it's abandonment,not acceptance.There AREN'T any excuses for homosexual activity.
PurrrplePenny
PurrrplePenny 36IS
Surrey, British Columbia
written 1 day ago:
Offensive nonsense only to the small-minded and hateful like you dear boy, which thankfully there are fewer and fewer of every generation. Your kind is going the way of the dodo. People who AREN;'T ruled by outdated fear and bigotry accept us just fine. Facts are NOT on your side, the only kind of research that supporets your view is the Paul Cameron kind; discredited and laughed at by all credible research bodies, embraced wilfully by the ignorant.
There is no intrinsic harm in homosexual activity. Harm comes from being careless, same as with hetero sex.
You're still an ignorant deceitful bigot trying to hide your evil behind false compassion. There is nothing wrong with us, but a great deal wrong with you.
You still lose. Tata boyo, yours is a lost argument even before you speak it.
Anon-dom
Anon-dom 49M
Beacon, New York
written 1 day ago:
Trust me,I consider your arguments even weaker than you consider mine.Standards of conduct are not "bigotry",and the growth of a misconception's popularity doesn't make it true.
PurrrplePenny
PurrrplePenny 36IS
Surrey, British Columbia
written 1 day ago:
Oh I know you don't care about facts logic and proven science. I don't care if you don't care, you'll still never be RIGHT, and history will remember people like you in the same vein as Hitler or the KKK. THAT is a fact too. The only standard of conduct being violated is in your shallow tiny brain, the only misconceptions are yours and those like you. The truth is on the side of equality, what you espouse very much is hate and bigotry. Telling yourself you're being compassionate may ease your conscience, if you even have one, but it won't make it any less true that you're a bigot and a troll, and utterly worthless as a human being.
You have fun living in your little bubble of delusion, I garauntee you it will just keep getting smaller.
Toodles!
Anon-dom
Anon-dom 49M
Beacon, New York
written about 19 hours ago:
Facts and logic are on my side,not yours.That you seriously think that desire to engage in irrational behavior (same-sex sex?!) is anything like race,or that right and wrong are "equal",makes your school of thought the worthless one.And however big your "bubble of delusion" grows,it will never be anything else.
PurrrplePenny
PurrrplePenny 36IS
Surrey, British Columbia
written about 17 hours ago:
No dear, facts aren't on your side. I repeat, all reputable scientific and psychiatric agencies, peer-reviewed studies, and legitimate research prove you wrong. The only way to make it appear otherwise is to either cite thoroughly discredited researchers like Paul Cameron and the junk-science they use, or to take one tiny part of legitimate studies and intentionally distort it to make your case. There's a word for that; Lying. No matter what lies you tell, or how much you swear up and down it's the truth, your lies remain lies, and no proven credible research backs your side of the debate. You try to claim gay/lesbian sex is harmful. This is what is called a blanket exaggeration lie. Because SOME gay sex, such as careless unprotected sex, can have harmful results, (guess what? So can hetero sex), those like you will broadly claim ALL gay sex must therefore be harmful. This is another lie disproven by credible science. Gay sex, like straight sex, has equal risks and rewards, and safe sex negates a good chunk of those.
The bottom line is that you very much are a bigot and a troll, spouting disproven anti-gay rhetoric in a pathetic attempt to incite anger in complete strangers over the internet, most likely because your own life is so lacking in redeeming qualities that you're compelled to attack strangers whose private lives cause you absolutely no harm except in your own head, in order to stroke your own ego, and since you don't want to believe you're a bully or a bigot,. you lie even to yourself and cling to the lies you spout as "facts" when they've been repeatedly proven otherwise, and tell yourself you're trying to do a good thing by saving people from something no one needs to be saved FROM.
Canada is national proof that your side's rhetoric is a load of crap. Legal gay marriage has kept OUR economy afloat while yours is in the toilet. NO preachers have been arrested for still calling it sinful, and we've had openly gay soldiers in our military since 1994, and we're STILL the Military 9 times out of 10 that YOUR military calls to bail your asses out.
I know you'll basically stick your fingers in your ears and go LA LA LA at me. Bigots NEVER like admitting they might be wrong. Your arguments are no different than segregation arguments. Wrong is wrong, and no lie you tell, even to yourself, will change the facts.
But just because I know you're too ignorant and bigoted to risk acknowledging the REAL facts and admitting your mistakes won't stop me from utterly destroying your crap with the truth.
You go ahead and keep trying to lie to me if you like, I can outargue you til I die. The truth will NEVER validate YOU.
Toodles loser. That bubble is just going to keep on shrinking.
Anon-dom
Anon-dom 49M
Beacon, New York
new message
written about 17 hours ago:
Anything that tells you what you want to hear about this is nonsense.Browbeating the psychiatric community into giving up on trying to help you means they lose credibility,not that you gain it.Being same-sex makes same-sex sex wrong,just because the species has two sexes.Wrong doesn't have to mean illegal,but it does mean inferior,not "equal".
The comparison to segregation is insulting.Nobody gets up one day and decides,after a lifetime of never doing it,"I'm going to black today".The responsibility to never engage in same-sex sex,however,is equally binding on everyone,there's no exemption because you really want to.
The old rubber-glue line is tiresomely appropriate here...everything you say about my arguments only applies to yours.You're going to keep on claiming validation for your bad habits,and they'll never deserve it.
PurrrplePenny
PurrrplePenny 36IS
Surrey, British Columbia
new message
written less than a minute ago:
Nothing I say about your arguments applies to a single one of mine the boy. That's the beauty of it. I can easily provide peer-reviewed ratified research that backs up my argument, you cannot. So resorting to childish homilies to try (and again as always, FAIL) to deflate my arguments because you cannot EVER refute them using any real studies, facts or research, only further proves that deep down, YOU know that it's ME who is correct and has won. You have yet to provide me with anything but your own opinion and bigotry to validate your case, and even in that you've failed miserably. You don't give a rat's ass about people like me, and you're not "saving us" from some destructive life that exists only in the fevered minds of bigots. All you're doing is flailing in the wind, hoping if you can shame and guilt-trip us, a few folks with self-esteem issues might go waste thousands of dollars on Ex-Gay therapies that have been proven to never work and that cause serious psychological trauma. No one has bullied any scientific body into recognising our equality and validity, but those on your side frequently tried to bully them into rescinding those statements. Bullying is YOUR side's tactic, not ours. And when your side failed to intimidate valid legitimate institutes, you founded your own fraudulent ones to push your junk science.
There is no lie about homosexuality that you can tell that I cannot refute with truth and fact. You of course will continue to believe your sad old tired lies, because frankly you're a small minded idiot, I don't think you're even capable of opening your mind to truth, the lies are safer for your frail weak mind, more comfortable.
But as I've said, you believing in a proven lie, and repeating that lie ad nauseum to anyone who'll listen, will never make that lie true. I on the other hand just tell the truth, and telling the truth is the best way to defeat pompous lying windbags like you. There certainly is an inferior one here, but it isn't me or mine. Inferior is the mind so afraid of reality it will cling to a lie like a life preserver after your ship has begun to sink under the weight of it's own bullshit dear boy.
The problem with that is that you can only tread water for so long on a lie in the ocean of truth I have to drown you in before you too sink under the weight of your own bullshit.
*******************************
No reply since then yet, and he'll be booted off the site pretty soon, as FetLife staff are investigating the myriad of complaints against him for his bile.
The funny thing is that, as his profile on the kink social network reaches his list of his personal kinks and fetishes, it goes into perhaps the longest list I've ever seen of creepy disgusting fetishes, such as forcing his pet to engage in scatology by cleaning him up after bareback anal, and far worse ideas I won't even repeat here.
But of course those are all perfectly normal and healthy in his mind, so long as it's a man and a woman engaging in the literal shit-eating. But gays and lesbians just having normal healthy vanilla sex in a loving relationship? Oh HELL no, not on HIS watch!
I laughed my ass off at him for awhile..... until I realized he's probably Brian Fischer incognito. Or Matt Barber, or Porno Pete LaBarbera. God knows as obsessed as those three are with weird sexual fetishes that all us gays supposedly have, any one of them could be this guy and not blink. One of my FetLife friends posted this lovely message he had sent her.
"I see from your profile that you seem to be engaged in a relationship with another female. I see this all the time and it makes me sad because I know that you and also her have never found a real man that can hold your attention. Since lesbians don't exist and the relationships between the supposedly lesbian women are sexless I assume that you both do this for your protection or something? I'd like to talk further on this so here's my number xxx-xxx-xxxx. I'll anticipate your call soon."
Yeah, I think this MUST be one of the Wonk Triplets. The alternative is to believe there really are more idiots like Fischer, Barber and LaBarbera out there than I thought.
Goddess help us all.
From my private messages on FetLife.com, wherein an anti-gay windbag, concerned for my well-being, (you know, that whopper lie these types tell themselves to NOT feel like hateful bigots) decided to try to save me directly rather than keep getting his ass handed to him in the forum he had been posting on.
This began because, like so many, I responded in the forum to his bile by using myself to deflate his "Only two sexes, nature says violating the opposite sex status quo is wrong yadda yadda" crap.
PurrrplePenny
PurrrplePenny 36IS
Surrey, British Columbia
written 1 day ago:
But you are indeed a huge flaming idiot. Having read your bile as it relates to dismissing the lives and loves of my friends here, which of course you insist is not hate or bigotry, (just like all ignorant bleating homophobes do), I'm afraid I must deflate that little bubble you live in.
First of all, there are most certainly NOT only two distinct sexes. I'm living proof of this troll boy. Go look at my pictures. I automatically just by existing prove you're mistaken and speaking out of your ass.
Second, homosexuality is VERY natural. It occurs in THOUSANDS of species, not just humans. It's a population control tool, when there are too damned many of something, Nature makes a small percentage gay, to curb breeding and provide extra care for the excess of offspring.
Third, "Love the sinner hate the sin" is the single biggest bullshit excuse folks like you use to hide your bigotry. Not only can I prove that the Bible is NOT NEARLY so anti-gay as folks like you want to claim, but it's a RELIGIOUS view, and religion, unlike homosexuality, is very much a choice. No one is born Christian, you have to be taught. But all credible research shows it is extremely unlikely that ANYONE chooses to be something so vilified that it risks getting them beaten to death every time they leave the house.
- A happily and very much legally MARRIED LESBIAN.
This got kudos from others in the forum, but he decided to then take it directly to my inbox.
Anon-dom
Anon-dom 49M
Beacon, New York
written 1 day ago:
I assure you that the attempts to justify same-sex sex will always be offensive nonsense.That something occurs in nature does not mean it is not deplorable or appalling.Your birth defect is unfortunate but not nearly as sad as your pretending it isn't.
If you DON'T "hate the sin",you're only PRETENDING to love the sinner...I'm not a religious person,I don't think the Bible is of divine origin,and I'm not advocating beating anyone to death.But to treat homosexual orientation as excusing homosexual activity is no better than telling an alcoholic to keep drinking until he dies...it's abandonment,not acceptance.There AREN'T any excuses for homosexual activity.
PurrrplePenny
PurrrplePenny 36IS
Surrey, British Columbia
written 1 day ago:
Offensive nonsense only to the small-minded and hateful like you dear boy, which thankfully there are fewer and fewer of every generation. Your kind is going the way of the dodo. People who AREN;'T ruled by outdated fear and bigotry accept us just fine. Facts are NOT on your side, the only kind of research that supporets your view is the Paul Cameron kind; discredited and laughed at by all credible research bodies, embraced wilfully by the ignorant.
There is no intrinsic harm in homosexual activity. Harm comes from being careless, same as with hetero sex.
You're still an ignorant deceitful bigot trying to hide your evil behind false compassion. There is nothing wrong with us, but a great deal wrong with you.
You still lose. Tata boyo, yours is a lost argument even before you speak it.
Anon-dom
Anon-dom 49M
Beacon, New York
written 1 day ago:
Trust me,I consider your arguments even weaker than you consider mine.Standards of conduct are not "bigotry",and the growth of a misconception's popularity doesn't make it true.
PurrrplePenny
PurrrplePenny 36IS
Surrey, British Columbia
written 1 day ago:
Oh I know you don't care about facts logic and proven science. I don't care if you don't care, you'll still never be RIGHT, and history will remember people like you in the same vein as Hitler or the KKK. THAT is a fact too. The only standard of conduct being violated is in your shallow tiny brain, the only misconceptions are yours and those like you. The truth is on the side of equality, what you espouse very much is hate and bigotry. Telling yourself you're being compassionate may ease your conscience, if you even have one, but it won't make it any less true that you're a bigot and a troll, and utterly worthless as a human being.
You have fun living in your little bubble of delusion, I garauntee you it will just keep getting smaller.
Toodles!
Anon-dom
Anon-dom 49M
Beacon, New York
written about 19 hours ago:
Facts and logic are on my side,not yours.That you seriously think that desire to engage in irrational behavior (same-sex sex?!) is anything like race,or that right and wrong are "equal",makes your school of thought the worthless one.And however big your "bubble of delusion" grows,it will never be anything else.
PurrrplePenny
PurrrplePenny 36IS
Surrey, British Columbia
written about 17 hours ago:
No dear, facts aren't on your side. I repeat, all reputable scientific and psychiatric agencies, peer-reviewed studies, and legitimate research prove you wrong. The only way to make it appear otherwise is to either cite thoroughly discredited researchers like Paul Cameron and the junk-science they use, or to take one tiny part of legitimate studies and intentionally distort it to make your case. There's a word for that; Lying. No matter what lies you tell, or how much you swear up and down it's the truth, your lies remain lies, and no proven credible research backs your side of the debate. You try to claim gay/lesbian sex is harmful. This is what is called a blanket exaggeration lie. Because SOME gay sex, such as careless unprotected sex, can have harmful results, (guess what? So can hetero sex), those like you will broadly claim ALL gay sex must therefore be harmful. This is another lie disproven by credible science. Gay sex, like straight sex, has equal risks and rewards, and safe sex negates a good chunk of those.
The bottom line is that you very much are a bigot and a troll, spouting disproven anti-gay rhetoric in a pathetic attempt to incite anger in complete strangers over the internet, most likely because your own life is so lacking in redeeming qualities that you're compelled to attack strangers whose private lives cause you absolutely no harm except in your own head, in order to stroke your own ego, and since you don't want to believe you're a bully or a bigot,. you lie even to yourself and cling to the lies you spout as "facts" when they've been repeatedly proven otherwise, and tell yourself you're trying to do a good thing by saving people from something no one needs to be saved FROM.
Canada is national proof that your side's rhetoric is a load of crap. Legal gay marriage has kept OUR economy afloat while yours is in the toilet. NO preachers have been arrested for still calling it sinful, and we've had openly gay soldiers in our military since 1994, and we're STILL the Military 9 times out of 10 that YOUR military calls to bail your asses out.
I know you'll basically stick your fingers in your ears and go LA LA LA at me. Bigots NEVER like admitting they might be wrong. Your arguments are no different than segregation arguments. Wrong is wrong, and no lie you tell, even to yourself, will change the facts.
But just because I know you're too ignorant and bigoted to risk acknowledging the REAL facts and admitting your mistakes won't stop me from utterly destroying your crap with the truth.
You go ahead and keep trying to lie to me if you like, I can outargue you til I die. The truth will NEVER validate YOU.
Toodles loser. That bubble is just going to keep on shrinking.
Anon-dom
Anon-dom 49M
Beacon, New York
new message
written about 17 hours ago:
Anything that tells you what you want to hear about this is nonsense.Browbeating the psychiatric community into giving up on trying to help you means they lose credibility,not that you gain it.Being same-sex makes same-sex sex wrong,just because the species has two sexes.Wrong doesn't have to mean illegal,but it does mean inferior,not "equal".
The comparison to segregation is insulting.Nobody gets up one day and decides,after a lifetime of never doing it,"I'm going to black today".The responsibility to never engage in same-sex sex,however,is equally binding on everyone,there's no exemption because you really want to.
The old rubber-glue line is tiresomely appropriate here...everything you say about my arguments only applies to yours.You're going to keep on claiming validation for your bad habits,and they'll never deserve it.
PurrrplePenny
PurrrplePenny 36IS
Surrey, British Columbia
new message
written less than a minute ago:
Nothing I say about your arguments applies to a single one of mine the boy. That's the beauty of it. I can easily provide peer-reviewed ratified research that backs up my argument, you cannot. So resorting to childish homilies to try (and again as always, FAIL) to deflate my arguments because you cannot EVER refute them using any real studies, facts or research, only further proves that deep down, YOU know that it's ME who is correct and has won. You have yet to provide me with anything but your own opinion and bigotry to validate your case, and even in that you've failed miserably. You don't give a rat's ass about people like me, and you're not "saving us" from some destructive life that exists only in the fevered minds of bigots. All you're doing is flailing in the wind, hoping if you can shame and guilt-trip us, a few folks with self-esteem issues might go waste thousands of dollars on Ex-Gay therapies that have been proven to never work and that cause serious psychological trauma. No one has bullied any scientific body into recognising our equality and validity, but those on your side frequently tried to bully them into rescinding those statements. Bullying is YOUR side's tactic, not ours. And when your side failed to intimidate valid legitimate institutes, you founded your own fraudulent ones to push your junk science.
There is no lie about homosexuality that you can tell that I cannot refute with truth and fact. You of course will continue to believe your sad old tired lies, because frankly you're a small minded idiot, I don't think you're even capable of opening your mind to truth, the lies are safer for your frail weak mind, more comfortable.
But as I've said, you believing in a proven lie, and repeating that lie ad nauseum to anyone who'll listen, will never make that lie true. I on the other hand just tell the truth, and telling the truth is the best way to defeat pompous lying windbags like you. There certainly is an inferior one here, but it isn't me or mine. Inferior is the mind so afraid of reality it will cling to a lie like a life preserver after your ship has begun to sink under the weight of it's own bullshit dear boy.
The problem with that is that you can only tread water for so long on a lie in the ocean of truth I have to drown you in before you too sink under the weight of your own bullshit.
*******************************
No reply since then yet, and he'll be booted off the site pretty soon, as FetLife staff are investigating the myriad of complaints against him for his bile.
The funny thing is that, as his profile on the kink social network reaches his list of his personal kinks and fetishes, it goes into perhaps the longest list I've ever seen of creepy disgusting fetishes, such as forcing his pet to engage in scatology by cleaning him up after bareback anal, and far worse ideas I won't even repeat here.
But of course those are all perfectly normal and healthy in his mind, so long as it's a man and a woman engaging in the literal shit-eating. But gays and lesbians just having normal healthy vanilla sex in a loving relationship? Oh HELL no, not on HIS watch!
I laughed my ass off at him for awhile..... until I realized he's probably Brian Fischer incognito. Or Matt Barber, or Porno Pete LaBarbera. God knows as obsessed as those three are with weird sexual fetishes that all us gays supposedly have, any one of them could be this guy and not blink. One of my FetLife friends posted this lovely message he had sent her.
"I see from your profile that you seem to be engaged in a relationship with another female. I see this all the time and it makes me sad because I know that you and also her have never found a real man that can hold your attention. Since lesbians don't exist and the relationships between the supposedly lesbian women are sexless I assume that you both do this for your protection or something? I'd like to talk further on this so here's my number xxx-xxx-xxxx. I'll anticipate your call soon."
Yeah, I think this MUST be one of the Wonk Triplets. The alternative is to believe there really are more idiots like Fischer, Barber and LaBarbera out there than I thought.
Goddess help us all.
11/26/2010
My Letter to my Member Of Parliament About Bill C-389
Crossposted on Pam's House Blend
(I have just sent this to my district's Member of Parliament, Sukh Dhaliwal. I encourage all my fellow Canadians to do the same with their local MP's. As Mercedes on Pam's said, you can find the contact info for your local MP by typing in your Postal Code here.)
******************************************
As a member of your constituency here in Surrey, a voter, and a member of the trans community, I implore you to vote to pass Bill C-389. This bill, despite the lies and fearmongering that members of the religious right are engaging in, is not going to let "men put on dresses so they can rape women in bathrooms and claim they're really trans women". That is utterly reprehensible fearmongering invented by religious bigots who distort faith to justify inequality. What it will do is provide protection and dignity to a very beleaguered class. As you are a person of color, I KNOW you understand how bigotry for something you cannot change, in your case race, feels when the ignorant paint you with assumptions and broadstrokes. Trans women cannot change who they are. They do not go into bathrooms to harass women. We go into bathrooms to use the bathroom, same as everyone else. And Crossdressers are NOT trans women and do not use opposite sex bathrooms. Predators who would harm women tend to be very sexist insecure men, and are EXTREMELY unlikely to sacrifice their masculinity by dressing as women just to access women's spaces.
I was arrested and spent a night in jail this past January in PoCo because a security guard decided I didn't look womanly enough, called me a perverted faggot, and called the police. I was violently raped in juvey as a teenager and the entire night in jail I was wracked by flashbacks. The incident, despite being sorted out the next day when I showed the judge the F on my BCID, left me traumatized and afraid to so much as pee when out in public for months. I gave myself a goddamned kidney stone from holding my bladder til I got home rather than just use a restroom. The passage of Bill C-389 would ensure that women like me who are guilty of absolutely nothing except being born with our brains wired differently, (and yes, science HAS proven that MTF Transsexuals do in fact have the biological brain construction of a natal female), from having to risk this kind of humiliation at the hansds of bullies and bigots who mock and ridicule us just for having the courage to be ourselves.
Last weekend was the Transgender Day of Remembrance, an annual day to remember trans women murdered the world over every year. Google Angie Zapata for an example of what women like me risk happening to us every single time we leave the house because we aren't protected under the law.
Imagine if your son or daughter came to you and told you this was who they really were, knowing the danger they will face just by being honest about that. And then remember that all of us, every trans woman, we too are someone's child. And like you, your family, like everyone else, we have the right to be protected by law, and to live with dignity, and to be free from bigotry and harassment just for being who we are.
I am asking you, not as a voter, or a trans woman, but simply as a human being.
Do the right thing. Ignore the fearmongering of religious bigots who bastardize their own faith to make excuses for hatred.
Vote yes on Bill C-389.
Thank you.
Penny Sautereau-Fife, Surrey BC.
(I have just sent this to my district's Member of Parliament, Sukh Dhaliwal. I encourage all my fellow Canadians to do the same with their local MP's. As Mercedes on Pam's said, you can find the contact info for your local MP by typing in your Postal Code here.)
******************************************
As a member of your constituency here in Surrey, a voter, and a member of the trans community, I implore you to vote to pass Bill C-389. This bill, despite the lies and fearmongering that members of the religious right are engaging in, is not going to let "men put on dresses so they can rape women in bathrooms and claim they're really trans women". That is utterly reprehensible fearmongering invented by religious bigots who distort faith to justify inequality. What it will do is provide protection and dignity to a very beleaguered class. As you are a person of color, I KNOW you understand how bigotry for something you cannot change, in your case race, feels when the ignorant paint you with assumptions and broadstrokes. Trans women cannot change who they are. They do not go into bathrooms to harass women. We go into bathrooms to use the bathroom, same as everyone else. And Crossdressers are NOT trans women and do not use opposite sex bathrooms. Predators who would harm women tend to be very sexist insecure men, and are EXTREMELY unlikely to sacrifice their masculinity by dressing as women just to access women's spaces.
I was arrested and spent a night in jail this past January in PoCo because a security guard decided I didn't look womanly enough, called me a perverted faggot, and called the police. I was violently raped in juvey as a teenager and the entire night in jail I was wracked by flashbacks. The incident, despite being sorted out the next day when I showed the judge the F on my BCID, left me traumatized and afraid to so much as pee when out in public for months. I gave myself a goddamned kidney stone from holding my bladder til I got home rather than just use a restroom. The passage of Bill C-389 would ensure that women like me who are guilty of absolutely nothing except being born with our brains wired differently, (and yes, science HAS proven that MTF Transsexuals do in fact have the biological brain construction of a natal female), from having to risk this kind of humiliation at the hansds of bullies and bigots who mock and ridicule us just for having the courage to be ourselves.
Last weekend was the Transgender Day of Remembrance, an annual day to remember trans women murdered the world over every year. Google Angie Zapata for an example of what women like me risk happening to us every single time we leave the house because we aren't protected under the law.
Imagine if your son or daughter came to you and told you this was who they really were, knowing the danger they will face just by being honest about that. And then remember that all of us, every trans woman, we too are someone's child. And like you, your family, like everyone else, we have the right to be protected by law, and to live with dignity, and to be free from bigotry and harassment just for being who we are.
I am asking you, not as a voter, or a trans woman, but simply as a human being.
Do the right thing. Ignore the fearmongering of religious bigots who bastardize their own faith to make excuses for hatred.
Vote yes on Bill C-389.
Thank you.
Penny Sautereau-Fife, Surrey BC.
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