Cross-posted on Pam's House Blend
I was just woken up by an unexpected phone call.
Normally, this would be extremely irritating as you can imagine. I barely get much sleep, so being woken up when I actually was passed out is a pet peeve.
This however, was a wake-up I can definitely forgive, as it was the BC Supreme Court Crown Counsel calling me.
For anyone who is unfamiliar with my legal battle with Safeway Co. Ltd. please direct your attention here, here, and here.
Why would Crown call me less than a week before my final court date? To inform me that, as the man whose job it is to prove I'm guilty of the crime I'm charged with and convict me, he has, after two months of investigation into the testimony and evidence presented during the first part of my trial in August, determined that Safeway's case is so full of gaping holes and blatant transphobia that it is not even worth the Court's time to persue it further.
I no longer have to law awake at night fearing the system won't care about the transphobic bullying I endured by Safeway employees that lead to the false shoplifting charges, or hope I may be found not guilty because proof and justice were on my side.
Because the Crown decided Safeway's bullshit was so mind-numbingly obvious he COMPLETELY DISMISSED THE CHARGES!!!!
Apparently, inasmuch as he was willing or able to tell me, his attempts to procure interviews with the abusive security guard who the arresting guard was forced at my first hearing to admit WAS there and had been suspiciously left out of his report completely, he determined my version of events was clearly the accurate one and that the security guard who testified had a vested interest in trying to pretend otherwise.
I don't know if I have the energy after a year and a half of my life has been chewed up by this to actually SUE Safeway, but I'm damned sure going to Ask them to reimburse me for the items I had paid good money for which the security guards confiscated wrongly as stolen property.
Today, I am a happy kitty. Sometimes, the system DOES work for us.
10/22/2010
10/20/2010
I Am Purple Every Day
Crossposted on Pam's House Blend
It's no secret to those that know me that I'm a tad obsessed with purple. I own a lot of purple clothing, a fair chunk of my digital art is purple, and I've had my hair dyed purple more than once.
What very few people know is why. And since a well-meaning campaign has declared today Spirit Day and encouraging people to wear purple to raise awareness of teenage GLBT suicides, now seems as good a time as any to tell you all why.
I've seen several examples today on Twitter alone of trans youth being ignored, ungendered, or lumped in unfairly with gay youth and ignoring the different struggles they face. I know gay kids go through a lot of bullshit, yes, but Trans kids have several completely different struggles on top of those, so before I begin, let me remind you, honor EVERY kid in turmoil today. Do NOT gayjack or ungender trans kids by lumping everyone together as if one universal solution will fix everyone's problems.
When I was young, my femininity was not exactly subtle. I knew at age 3 something was wrong. I knew I was supposed to be a girl. I didn't know I actually WAS a girl surgically jiggered at birth. But I knew I was supposed to BE a girl. And every time I expressed femininity I got beaten up.
If I asked to see a Barbie doll at recess, I got beat up.
If I didn't want to join in at sports or play War or Tackle Tag, I got beat up.
If I said I actually liked cooking my own breakfast, I got beat up.
Anything I expressed interest in that the boys saw as even bordering on stereotypically girly, I got beat up.
I ended up suspended from Grade 3 for a week because I admitted to liking Jem and the Holograms, and when the teacher pulled the bullies off of me and said I should expect to get beat up if I was going to be a sissy and not like GI Joe instead, I told him to go fuck himself. I got beat up and yet it was ME who got suspended, because I stood up to a teacher reinforcing stereotypes and condoning the bullying.
When I started to grow breasts, I got beat up.
When I tried to resist my rapists in Juvey, I got beat up.
And every time I got beat up, I waited til the next day. And the next day, when the bruises formed, I saw my only friend, Purple.
Purple, who appeared on my skin to remind me I was different and had to fight to survive.
Purple, who reassured me I had survived another hate fuelled beating.
Purple, who told me I was still alive, that they hadn't broken me.
I love purple. Purple tells me I'm alive. That I'm strong enough to survive the abuse. Purple tells me I'm allowed to be me.
I admire the girl who came up with the idea of a Spirit Day. It's a noble thought, even if some idiots are already distorting her noble idea to ungender trans kids. I wish there were less such idiots and more kids like Brittany McMillan who want to do something positive.
But I'm purple every day of my life. And so should all of us be. Every day should be a day we talk about and support young GLBT folks. ALL of them.
I love purple.
It's no secret to those that know me that I'm a tad obsessed with purple. I own a lot of purple clothing, a fair chunk of my digital art is purple, and I've had my hair dyed purple more than once.
What very few people know is why. And since a well-meaning campaign has declared today Spirit Day and encouraging people to wear purple to raise awareness of teenage GLBT suicides, now seems as good a time as any to tell you all why.
I've seen several examples today on Twitter alone of trans youth being ignored, ungendered, or lumped in unfairly with gay youth and ignoring the different struggles they face. I know gay kids go through a lot of bullshit, yes, but Trans kids have several completely different struggles on top of those, so before I begin, let me remind you, honor EVERY kid in turmoil today. Do NOT gayjack or ungender trans kids by lumping everyone together as if one universal solution will fix everyone's problems.
When I was young, my femininity was not exactly subtle. I knew at age 3 something was wrong. I knew I was supposed to be a girl. I didn't know I actually WAS a girl surgically jiggered at birth. But I knew I was supposed to BE a girl. And every time I expressed femininity I got beaten up.
If I asked to see a Barbie doll at recess, I got beat up.
If I didn't want to join in at sports or play War or Tackle Tag, I got beat up.
If I said I actually liked cooking my own breakfast, I got beat up.
Anything I expressed interest in that the boys saw as even bordering on stereotypically girly, I got beat up.
I ended up suspended from Grade 3 for a week because I admitted to liking Jem and the Holograms, and when the teacher pulled the bullies off of me and said I should expect to get beat up if I was going to be a sissy and not like GI Joe instead, I told him to go fuck himself. I got beat up and yet it was ME who got suspended, because I stood up to a teacher reinforcing stereotypes and condoning the bullying.
When I started to grow breasts, I got beat up.
When I tried to resist my rapists in Juvey, I got beat up.
And every time I got beat up, I waited til the next day. And the next day, when the bruises formed, I saw my only friend, Purple.
Purple, who appeared on my skin to remind me I was different and had to fight to survive.
Purple, who reassured me I had survived another hate fuelled beating.
Purple, who told me I was still alive, that they hadn't broken me.
I love purple. Purple tells me I'm alive. That I'm strong enough to survive the abuse. Purple tells me I'm allowed to be me.
I admire the girl who came up with the idea of a Spirit Day. It's a noble thought, even if some idiots are already distorting her noble idea to ungender trans kids. I wish there were less such idiots and more kids like Brittany McMillan who want to do something positive.
But I'm purple every day of my life. And so should all of us be. Every day should be a day we talk about and support young GLBT folks. ALL of them.
I love purple.
10/06/2010
Women Like Me
Crossposted on Pam's House Blend
Women like me are called “it” on the radio, on television, in the news, and by politician wanting to undermine our rights. Just ask Sally Kern's supporters.
We are murdered at a staggering rate. 1 in 8 will be murdered, according to a Harvey Milk institute study. And chances are, 9 times out of 10, no one will cover it except angry trans/is bloggers like me.
Raping us is not yet a crime. Oh sure rape is still technically illegal, but if the victim is a woman like me? Most courts, if it ever even gets to court, dismiss the plaintiffs as deviants who left themselves vulnerable, therefore it's our own fault.
Murdering us is considered justifiable. The victory in Angie Zapata's murder trial was a rupugnantly rare exception where we got justice. The rule is generally "Oh she was a dude? I understand, you're freev to go sir." And that's if it ever reaches trial. Police don't genewrally put much manpower into hunting down some guy who killed another tranny, she was probably a prostitute anyway amirite?
Also generally considered to be perfectly acceptable by society in general are spontaneous public beatings, often by police. Especially in New York where there are at least 3 publicized incidents in the last 10 years of cops standing with a crowd watching and laughing and doing nothing as a transwoman got beaten.
Police often rape us, prior to fabricating charges of soliciting. They know in a their word against ours situation, not even gay and lesbian advocates will believe us over police. Because all trannies are hookers, everyone knows that. We must be, it's not like anyone will give us a real job.
We are openly taunted and demeaned in the media using the most hateful language. If you don't believe me, just Google "Memphis Trans Murders" and see how the media portrays us when we're murdered.
So called “LGBT” activists lie to us to take our meager dollars at fundraisers, then abandon us as beneath them when we need their voices to stand up for us. HRC is a frequent offender, and Joe Solmonese couldn't give a rat's ass about actually including Tran folk. He actively tried to push a trans-exclusive ENDA because he knew them there Gay Fellers would get approval easier if they threw us under the bus. AFTER taking donations from us and promising they'd fight for us of course. LGBT newspapers like Bay Windows and the Washington Blade call for our exclusion from basic rights legislation.
Our unemployment rate is staggeringly high. Even where our kind are supposedly protected from job discrimination, there's always a reason why we're "not right for the job". No employer has to actually say he isn't hiring us because we're trannies, he just has to make up any flimsy excuse and he'll get away with it. I've been passed over because 120 words per minute was "too speedy for office needs".
Because we are often incarcerated in male prisons with exaggerated sentences. I was in juvey for punching a group home worker for calling me a little faggot. I was gang-raped in a shower. The guards denied me medical attention and their reply to my story was "yeah yeah sure queer, back to your cell". That is a verbatim quote as they dragged me back to my cell while my ass was STILL BLEEDING.
Because it is still considered OK to deny us basic medical care, and to excoriate us in the media for seeking it. Just ask the trans woman who in August went to emergency with her wife and daughter because she was coughing up blood and was sniggered at by staff who ignored her id, then had her sanity questioned instead of treated for her illness, then ultimately refused treatment because of her "condition". Not her actual medical condition mind you. They meant her being a "transvestite".
Or as Tyra Hunter found out, to be tortured with naltrexone injections in the last moments of her life, while being taunted for who she was as she lay dying on the pavement, because the EMT found a penis in her panties and refused to touch her afterward. As far as I can find on Google searches, he was never punished.
“Feminists” still call for our exclusion from basic human dignities and protections, such as restrooms and DV shelters, because we're just "men trying to infiltrate female dynamics". (Google "The Transsexual Empire" by Janice Raymond for reference to this crock mentality).
We are effectively barred from attending womens colleges, as well as many women only venues. I personally received 14 death threats by e-mail after I said on my old now-defunct LiveJournal account that I planned to attend the Vancouver Dyke March 6 years ago and speak onstage about tg issues. I was afraid to attend though, as they were so descriptive and specific in their threats. The police of course did nothing.
And finally, because all too many women will ignore this post “because it doesn’t affect them,” or because of their own issues with women like me.
Women like me are standing up and telling the rest of you; We exist. You will not ignore us. You will not pretend we aren't there. You will address us as we live, not by our genitals. You will respect our identities. You will not shrug if someone murders us. You will nott exclude us from equality legislation for the sake of expediance swearing you'll "come back for us, honest".
Women like me, ARE women.
Get used to it. We will not quietly go away, and every new generation of us gets louder and louder.
Women like me are called “it” on the radio, on television, in the news, and by politician wanting to undermine our rights. Just ask Sally Kern's supporters.
We are murdered at a staggering rate. 1 in 8 will be murdered, according to a Harvey Milk institute study. And chances are, 9 times out of 10, no one will cover it except angry trans/is bloggers like me.
Raping us is not yet a crime. Oh sure rape is still technically illegal, but if the victim is a woman like me? Most courts, if it ever even gets to court, dismiss the plaintiffs as deviants who left themselves vulnerable, therefore it's our own fault.
Murdering us is considered justifiable. The victory in Angie Zapata's murder trial was a rupugnantly rare exception where we got justice. The rule is generally "Oh she was a dude? I understand, you're freev to go sir." And that's if it ever reaches trial. Police don't genewrally put much manpower into hunting down some guy who killed another tranny, she was probably a prostitute anyway amirite?
Also generally considered to be perfectly acceptable by society in general are spontaneous public beatings, often by police. Especially in New York where there are at least 3 publicized incidents in the last 10 years of cops standing with a crowd watching and laughing and doing nothing as a transwoman got beaten.
Police often rape us, prior to fabricating charges of soliciting. They know in a their word against ours situation, not even gay and lesbian advocates will believe us over police. Because all trannies are hookers, everyone knows that. We must be, it's not like anyone will give us a real job.
We are openly taunted and demeaned in the media using the most hateful language. If you don't believe me, just Google "Memphis Trans Murders" and see how the media portrays us when we're murdered.
So called “LGBT” activists lie to us to take our meager dollars at fundraisers, then abandon us as beneath them when we need their voices to stand up for us. HRC is a frequent offender, and Joe Solmonese couldn't give a rat's ass about actually including Tran folk. He actively tried to push a trans-exclusive ENDA because he knew them there Gay Fellers would get approval easier if they threw us under the bus. AFTER taking donations from us and promising they'd fight for us of course. LGBT newspapers like Bay Windows and the Washington Blade call for our exclusion from basic rights legislation.
Our unemployment rate is staggeringly high. Even where our kind are supposedly protected from job discrimination, there's always a reason why we're "not right for the job". No employer has to actually say he isn't hiring us because we're trannies, he just has to make up any flimsy excuse and he'll get away with it. I've been passed over because 120 words per minute was "too speedy for office needs".
Because we are often incarcerated in male prisons with exaggerated sentences. I was in juvey for punching a group home worker for calling me a little faggot. I was gang-raped in a shower. The guards denied me medical attention and their reply to my story was "yeah yeah sure queer, back to your cell". That is a verbatim quote as they dragged me back to my cell while my ass was STILL BLEEDING.
Because it is still considered OK to deny us basic medical care, and to excoriate us in the media for seeking it. Just ask the trans woman who in August went to emergency with her wife and daughter because she was coughing up blood and was sniggered at by staff who ignored her id, then had her sanity questioned instead of treated for her illness, then ultimately refused treatment because of her "condition". Not her actual medical condition mind you. They meant her being a "transvestite".
Or as Tyra Hunter found out, to be tortured with naltrexone injections in the last moments of her life, while being taunted for who she was as she lay dying on the pavement, because the EMT found a penis in her panties and refused to touch her afterward. As far as I can find on Google searches, he was never punished.
“Feminists” still call for our exclusion from basic human dignities and protections, such as restrooms and DV shelters, because we're just "men trying to infiltrate female dynamics". (Google "The Transsexual Empire" by Janice Raymond for reference to this crock mentality).
We are effectively barred from attending womens colleges, as well as many women only venues. I personally received 14 death threats by e-mail after I said on my old now-defunct LiveJournal account that I planned to attend the Vancouver Dyke March 6 years ago and speak onstage about tg issues. I was afraid to attend though, as they were so descriptive and specific in their threats. The police of course did nothing.
And finally, because all too many women will ignore this post “because it doesn’t affect them,” or because of their own issues with women like me.
Women like me are standing up and telling the rest of you; We exist. You will not ignore us. You will not pretend we aren't there. You will address us as we live, not by our genitals. You will respect our identities. You will not shrug if someone murders us. You will nott exclude us from equality legislation for the sake of expediance swearing you'll "come back for us, honest".
Women like me, ARE women.
Get used to it. We will not quietly go away, and every new generation of us gets louder and louder.
10/02/2010
When A Stupid Choice Outweighs A Deplorable Crime
Crossposted on Pam's House Blend
I'm very sad and angry about the recent spate of gay teen suicides. Two 13 year old boys and one 15 year old boy in the past two weeks have killed themselves because of relentless homophobic bullying. These poor young boys were abused to ridiculous extremes not only by hateful classmates, but by school officials who did absolutely nothing fearing conservative reprisals.
These were children, who, regardless of their actual sexuality, (two were openly gay, one had never said he was or wasn't, and his misguided mother seems more concerned that people are told he wasn't than with fighting what drove him to kill himself), were abused and threatened and harassed and made to feel worthless until death felt like the only option for peace. These are tradgedies, crimes against vcompassion and humanity. They deserve what media coverage they're getting, because homophobic bullying in American schools is an epidemic that has lethal consequences.
While the so-called and extremely erroneously defined "family values" wingnut groups like Focus on the Family and the American Family Association constantly oppose every effort to address homophobic bullying, pulling all sorts of bullshit out of their ass to explain why they are perfectly content to let innocent children die as long as "the homuh-seckshuals" don't get a foothold in schools, these suicides should be a wake-up call to anyone with actual morals and compassion that things need to change in the USA. Once again, it deeply disturbs me that I can brag about Canada's superiority to the USA in yet another area, when our countries should be on par.
As a Canadian, I'm proud that Canada is light years ahead of the States in regard to things like same-sex marriage, gays in the military, equality under the law, and anti-bullying programs in our schools. Things that, to a rational, thinking fair-minded society should be no-brainers. As someone with family and dearly beloved friends in the USA, I'm ashamed of just how far ahead of you my country is.
And while I know a lot of you are going to be seriously pissed off at me for what I'm going to say next, it's the truth, and it bloody well needs to be addressed.
There's one more way that Canada trumps the USA, and it's the one that sickens me the most. Our GLBT groups and our media actually acknowledge the T equally, with fairness and equal standing. When a trans woman is murdered here it makes the news, and the victim is almost never ungendered in said reports, because our media follows the trans guidelines in the AP style book, and our GLBT organizations stand up for the T. Gay men, lesbian women, and straight folks of all kinds came out in proud support of trans women during the Lu's Pharmacy debacle. Trans people are protected under national law, and trans surgeries are for the most part covered in Canada.
Why am I bringing this up because of gay teen suicides in the USA? Because the suicide getting the most coverage is the one that deserves it the least, and all the massive coverage it's getting is repulsively shameful when compared to the almost non-existant coverage of the murder of a trans woman of colour that happened less than 30 miles away only two weeks before.
Seth Walsh, Asher Brown and Billy Lucas were children. They were constantly harassed, occasionally assaulted, and no one was helping them. They felt trapped and alone and lost, and they were desperate to escape. They deserve the media coverage, their deaths are tradgedies, part of an epidemic of bullying.
Victoria Carmen White was a post-op trans woman of colour, young, vibrant, attending college, and living her life. The ONLY local news report that addressed her murder did so thusly;
"Sept. 13, 2010
Newark – On Sunday, Sept. 12 at approximately 5 a.m. Victoria Carmen White, 28, of Newark was fatally shot at a private residence located at 159 Jacoby Street in Maplewood. Information released immediately following the shooting identified the victim as James White.
The victim’s legal name is Victoria Carmen White. Following an examination by the Medical Examiner and further investigation, it has been confirmed that the victim was a post-operative transgender female having undergone sex reassignment surgery. The victim’s birth certificate was legally changed to identify her as Victoria Carmen White.
The case is under active investigation. No other information is currently available."
Post-op, full legal documentation, and STILL the police and the media felt a need to ungender her post-mortum. And this is the ONLY media coverage she's gotten at all not counting a few dedicated bloggers like TransGriot and Questioning Transphobia who've tried to give her a voice in death. Like the three young boys, she too deserves massive media coverage that she's not getting anywhere, to bring to light another epidemic in this country.
Which brings me to Tyler Clementi, and the part that will likely piss people off but is nontheless true.
I feel genuinely sad for his family for their loss. And it does sadden me that another gay man is dead because straight people were idiots. But all available reports, accounts, and evidence shows that Tyler wasn't routinely bullied or harassed like the kids were. He was never relentlessly abused, or made to feel worthless by all his peers while school officials sat on their hands. Tyler Clementi had low self-esteem because his parents were reportedly deeply Catholic, and likely he himself felt conflicted about his sexuality, but the facts are he wasn't routinely bullied or harassed like the kids were.
Tyler was simply the victim of an admittedly cruel and tasteless prank, not of constant homophobic bullying. Tyler was an adult, not a child. Tyler was not trapped in a hopeless ceaseless cycle of abuse, he was embarassed by a video that invaded his privacy. And all evidence suggests Tyler killed himself because he was embarassed at being on public display.
And media across the country is harping on him as if he was the next Matthew Shepard. Gay Rights groups like HRC are loudly publicly demanding his roommate be charged with manslaughter because the video drove him to suicide. They are pushing his story past the three kids now. In most stories currently Tyler is the focal point of discussing the teen gay suicide/homophobic bullying epidemic, and Billy, Asher and Seth end up as footnotes and afterthoughts, mentioned mostly to show there were more than one suicide, while the authors focus on Tyler.
And Victoria? They don't mention her at all. Joe Solmonese isn't loudly calling for her killer to be brought to justice. GLBT groups aren't crying out for more attention to be paid to trans murders. While gay groups demand blood for Tyler, who made a stupid choice because someone embarassed him with a cruel prank, (which at best is worthy of a mischief charge under the law and doesn't qualify for manslaughter, or even criminally negligent homicide), no one is demanding Victoria's killer be found except a few angry bloogers.
An actual murderer is running around free and anonymous with a police force under absolutely NO pressure from ANYONE to track him down and arrest him, but a dead gay white man overreacts to being embarassed and people are calling for blood from an idiot douchebag who played a really stupid prank, who certainly deserves to be expelled from college but is NOT a murderer.
I'm sorry, but the truth is, the biggest tradgedy here is the subtle racism, trans-phobia and complete trans-erasure that has not only relegated three children's deaths to the background to focus on an adult white gay man who made a stupid choice while being nowhere near as beleagred as the three children were, but a black trans woman's murder goes ignored and forgotten completely because hey! A gay white man killed himself because a douchebag broadcast his sex life! That's way more important than some black tranny being FUCKING SHOT TO DEATH IN HER OWN FUCKING HOME!!!!!
Priorities. Canada has them. You folks don't. Give Tyler a rest. Put the focus back on Seth, Asher and Billy. And give Victoria the respect she deserves. Talk about HER death.
And people wonder why Trans folk don't trust white gay men when they want our money and swear they won't throw us under the bus again like they did with ENDA. Fuck you HRC. You don't give a shit about us.
Hat-tip to Gemma Catherine Seymour, as I'd never heard of Victoria's case until someone linked to her blog.
I'm very sad and angry about the recent spate of gay teen suicides. Two 13 year old boys and one 15 year old boy in the past two weeks have killed themselves because of relentless homophobic bullying. These poor young boys were abused to ridiculous extremes not only by hateful classmates, but by school officials who did absolutely nothing fearing conservative reprisals.
These were children, who, regardless of their actual sexuality, (two were openly gay, one had never said he was or wasn't, and his misguided mother seems more concerned that people are told he wasn't than with fighting what drove him to kill himself), were abused and threatened and harassed and made to feel worthless until death felt like the only option for peace. These are tradgedies, crimes against vcompassion and humanity. They deserve what media coverage they're getting, because homophobic bullying in American schools is an epidemic that has lethal consequences.
While the so-called and extremely erroneously defined "family values" wingnut groups like Focus on the Family and the American Family Association constantly oppose every effort to address homophobic bullying, pulling all sorts of bullshit out of their ass to explain why they are perfectly content to let innocent children die as long as "the homuh-seckshuals" don't get a foothold in schools, these suicides should be a wake-up call to anyone with actual morals and compassion that things need to change in the USA. Once again, it deeply disturbs me that I can brag about Canada's superiority to the USA in yet another area, when our countries should be on par.
As a Canadian, I'm proud that Canada is light years ahead of the States in regard to things like same-sex marriage, gays in the military, equality under the law, and anti-bullying programs in our schools. Things that, to a rational, thinking fair-minded society should be no-brainers. As someone with family and dearly beloved friends in the USA, I'm ashamed of just how far ahead of you my country is.
And while I know a lot of you are going to be seriously pissed off at me for what I'm going to say next, it's the truth, and it bloody well needs to be addressed.
There's one more way that Canada trumps the USA, and it's the one that sickens me the most. Our GLBT groups and our media actually acknowledge the T equally, with fairness and equal standing. When a trans woman is murdered here it makes the news, and the victim is almost never ungendered in said reports, because our media follows the trans guidelines in the AP style book, and our GLBT organizations stand up for the T. Gay men, lesbian women, and straight folks of all kinds came out in proud support of trans women during the Lu's Pharmacy debacle. Trans people are protected under national law, and trans surgeries are for the most part covered in Canada.
Why am I bringing this up because of gay teen suicides in the USA? Because the suicide getting the most coverage is the one that deserves it the least, and all the massive coverage it's getting is repulsively shameful when compared to the almost non-existant coverage of the murder of a trans woman of colour that happened less than 30 miles away only two weeks before.
Seth Walsh, Asher Brown and Billy Lucas were children. They were constantly harassed, occasionally assaulted, and no one was helping them. They felt trapped and alone and lost, and they were desperate to escape. They deserve the media coverage, their deaths are tradgedies, part of an epidemic of bullying.
Victoria Carmen White was a post-op trans woman of colour, young, vibrant, attending college, and living her life. The ONLY local news report that addressed her murder did so thusly;
"Sept. 13, 2010
Newark – On Sunday, Sept. 12 at approximately 5 a.m. Victoria Carmen White, 28, of Newark was fatally shot at a private residence located at 159 Jacoby Street in Maplewood. Information released immediately following the shooting identified the victim as James White.
The victim’s legal name is Victoria Carmen White. Following an examination by the Medical Examiner and further investigation, it has been confirmed that the victim was a post-operative transgender female having undergone sex reassignment surgery. The victim’s birth certificate was legally changed to identify her as Victoria Carmen White.
The case is under active investigation. No other information is currently available."
Post-op, full legal documentation, and STILL the police and the media felt a need to ungender her post-mortum. And this is the ONLY media coverage she's gotten at all not counting a few dedicated bloggers like TransGriot and Questioning Transphobia who've tried to give her a voice in death. Like the three young boys, she too deserves massive media coverage that she's not getting anywhere, to bring to light another epidemic in this country.
Which brings me to Tyler Clementi, and the part that will likely piss people off but is nontheless true.
I feel genuinely sad for his family for their loss. And it does sadden me that another gay man is dead because straight people were idiots. But all available reports, accounts, and evidence shows that Tyler wasn't routinely bullied or harassed like the kids were. He was never relentlessly abused, or made to feel worthless by all his peers while school officials sat on their hands. Tyler Clementi had low self-esteem because his parents were reportedly deeply Catholic, and likely he himself felt conflicted about his sexuality, but the facts are he wasn't routinely bullied or harassed like the kids were.
Tyler was simply the victim of an admittedly cruel and tasteless prank, not of constant homophobic bullying. Tyler was an adult, not a child. Tyler was not trapped in a hopeless ceaseless cycle of abuse, he was embarassed by a video that invaded his privacy. And all evidence suggests Tyler killed himself because he was embarassed at being on public display.
And media across the country is harping on him as if he was the next Matthew Shepard. Gay Rights groups like HRC are loudly publicly demanding his roommate be charged with manslaughter because the video drove him to suicide. They are pushing his story past the three kids now. In most stories currently Tyler is the focal point of discussing the teen gay suicide/homophobic bullying epidemic, and Billy, Asher and Seth end up as footnotes and afterthoughts, mentioned mostly to show there were more than one suicide, while the authors focus on Tyler.
And Victoria? They don't mention her at all. Joe Solmonese isn't loudly calling for her killer to be brought to justice. GLBT groups aren't crying out for more attention to be paid to trans murders. While gay groups demand blood for Tyler, who made a stupid choice because someone embarassed him with a cruel prank, (which at best is worthy of a mischief charge under the law and doesn't qualify for manslaughter, or even criminally negligent homicide), no one is demanding Victoria's killer be found except a few angry bloogers.
An actual murderer is running around free and anonymous with a police force under absolutely NO pressure from ANYONE to track him down and arrest him, but a dead gay white man overreacts to being embarassed and people are calling for blood from an idiot douchebag who played a really stupid prank, who certainly deserves to be expelled from college but is NOT a murderer.
I'm sorry, but the truth is, the biggest tradgedy here is the subtle racism, trans-phobia and complete trans-erasure that has not only relegated three children's deaths to the background to focus on an adult white gay man who made a stupid choice while being nowhere near as beleagred as the three children were, but a black trans woman's murder goes ignored and forgotten completely because hey! A gay white man killed himself because a douchebag broadcast his sex life! That's way more important than some black tranny being FUCKING SHOT TO DEATH IN HER OWN FUCKING HOME!!!!!
Priorities. Canada has them. You folks don't. Give Tyler a rest. Put the focus back on Seth, Asher and Billy. And give Victoria the respect she deserves. Talk about HER death.
And people wonder why Trans folk don't trust white gay men when they want our money and swear they won't throw us under the bus again like they did with ENDA. Fuck you HRC. You don't give a shit about us.
Hat-tip to Gemma Catherine Seymour, as I'd never heard of Victoria's case until someone linked to her blog.
9/29/2010
Katy Perry Wears Eye-Rapingly Ugly Dress for Elmo, Christian Wingnuts Whine
Crossposted on Pam's House Blend
I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! You'll all be happy to know my breasts are mostly healed, though the scars will require some time to fade. Anyway, onto the ranting.
So Sesame Street decided not to air a skit on television wherein marginally bearable pop tart Katy Perry sings a PBS-ized kiddie version of Hot And Cold on a playdate with Elmo while wearing the buttfuck ugliest wedding dress I've ever seen outside of Mimi on Drew Carey.
The reason for this cancellation? Christian/Catholic parents groups who watched the advance preview on YouTube were outraged by Ms. Perry's ugly dress. Not because it was ugly but becausae they found it to be too racy for their poor impressionable children's eyes. Because an ugly dress will of course always make 4 year olds ask about hardcore sex.
This story was broken in the Wall Street Journal, but that's not where I discovered it. I learned of this mindfuckingly brainhurting idiocy through the Huffington Post's link to this whackadoodle Catholic blog. The ignorance in the comments is, while in no way surprising coming from these sorts, staggering in the level of willful miseducation about simple facts.
The first few comments were applauding the censorship, but then someone pointed out something truly evil about the woman interviewing Perry in this YouTube video.
That video was embedded on the blog entry, presumably in a futile effort to make Perry terrifying to Christians, when she already terrifies sane people everywhere.
But the true isidiousness railed against in the comments, is that the interviewer is.... *GASP!!!* wearing inverted cross earrings.
I'm in way too much pain to day to let sleeping braind lie, so I posted the following as a comment. I got a little ranty of course, as I am often wont to do, but hey, there is immense joy in teaching deeply religious people just how little they actually know about their faith.
***
Um..... you people are blitheringly brain-hurtingly misinformed. About a great many things. First of all, complaining about Katy Perry's ugly as all hell but hardly racy or revealing dress makes you look so prudish even the Pope would tell you to relax a bit.
Secondly, all of you twonks whining about the interviewer wearing inverted cross earrings? Guess what folks?
THAT IS NOT A SATANIC SYMBOL!!!
If any of you people had paid attention in Sunday school, you would probably realize that the inverted cross is actually the personal trademark of Saint Peter, the first Pope, and one of the most revered figures in Catholic lore. When Peter was martyred by crucifixion he was said to have requested to be crucified upside down because he didn't feel worthy of dying the same way as Jesus. As a result, many dyed-in-the-wool Catholics actually consider the inverted cross to be a more acceptable thing to attach to your tacky jewelry than a regular right-way-up one. By wearing an upside-down cross, Satanists are unwittingly showing humility and unworthiness before Christ. That makes about as much sense as a neo-Nazi sticking it to the Jews by swearing off pork for life.
This is the biggest problem with idiots like you whining and crying in Jesus' name about how awful this that or the other thing is; NONE OF YOU can apparently be bothered to actually READ and LEARN the actual historical and Biblical facts you use to justify ridiculously insane moral outrage.
For example, so many of you cling to the Leviticus quote, "If a man lies with a male as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them." (Leviticus 20:13), to justify hating gay people. But there are two serious flaws in this logic. First of all, at the time the Bible was first translated into English, the words "lie" and "lay" were NOT interchangable. Lay meant only to lay down, lie meant ONLY to lie, to be dishonest. Lie did not come to have it's double-meaning until the Great Depression when street slang became the popular vernacular. This is not opinion or conjecture, it is proven historical fact. Therefore the quote is about dishonesty. Remembering that women were considered property and not people, the quote is basically the Bible version of "bros before hos".
Second of all, and more important, while so many falsely adhere fervantly to this misinformed idea of what that Leviticus quote means, they completely ignore several others as if they don't exist. For example.
"For everyone who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death. He has cursed his father or his mother. His blood shall be upon him." (Leviticus 20:9)
How many of you have murdered your children for telling you to buzz off when they hit their tennage rebellious phase? Show of hands? Anyone? Yeah that's what I thought.
"Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves. You may also buy some of the temporary residents living among you and members of their clans born in your country, and they will become your property." (Leviticus 25:44-45)
That folks, is the exact quote white folks once used to insist slavery was a God-Given right that Lincoln had no business revoking. But none of you would DARE demand it be adhered to today. At least not publicly.
"Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard." (Leviticus 19:27)
Any of you men out there beg God's forgiveness for daring to realize sideburns just do NOT look good?
"...and the swine, though it divides the hoof, having cloven hooves, yet does not chew the cud, is unclean to you." (Leviticus 11:7)
How many of you had bacon this morning? Yep, you're going straight to hell heathen.
"...do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear material woven of two kinds of material." (Leviticus 19:19)
Check the labels on your clothing. Chances are you violated this Biblical law without even knowing.
Oh but wait, here's the best one. Any of you like eating shrimp or scallops? Lobster or crab on special occasions? Guess what folks, if gays are going to hell for being gay, you're going to hell for eating at Long John Silver's.
"But all in the seas or in the rivers that do not have fins and scales, all that move in the water or any living thing which is in the water, they are an abomination to you." (Leviticus 11:10)
"They (shellfish) shall be an abomination to you; you shall not eat their flesh, but you shall regard their carcasses as an abomination." (Leviticus 11:11)
"Whatever in the water does not have fins or scales; that shall be an abomination to you." (Leviticus 11:12)
Katy Perry's dress is a non-issue to anyone mature and intelligent enough to realize kids are generally NOT idiots until you teach them to be. And all the complaints about the inverted cross earrings prove how painfully uneducated about your own bloody religion you folks are. Do yourselves a favor. Actually sit down and READ THE BIBLE. Not just selected passages, but the entire book, front to back, every page, every word. You might be terribly surprised by the reality of it. And if you pick and choose which rules you follow and which you ignore, you are a hypocrite, plain and simple.
So how about instead of whining about Katy Perry's ugly dress, go do something worthwhile, like volunteer at a soup kitchen.
***
And no my dear ones, I'm not naive enough to believe this lesson in actual fact will affect any of the idiots, nor that my comment will even last an hour at most before being deleted, but sometimes when I'm having really bad Fibromyalgia flareups and want to curl up sobbing, it's cathaqrtic and helps me cope with the pain to shake their trees a little. With apologies to Sir Peter Gabriel.
And it worked, I certainly do feel a little better knowing that once again, a fat hermaqphrodite Pagaen sex magick Shaman knows more about Christianity/Catholicism than the loud wannabe Christians/Catholics who bellow hate and ignorance making the REAL ones who live and let live, educate themselves, and accept me just fine as I am look bad by association.
I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! You'll all be happy to know my breasts are mostly healed, though the scars will require some time to fade. Anyway, onto the ranting.
So Sesame Street decided not to air a skit on television wherein marginally bearable pop tart Katy Perry sings a PBS-ized kiddie version of Hot And Cold on a playdate with Elmo while wearing the buttfuck ugliest wedding dress I've ever seen outside of Mimi on Drew Carey.
The reason for this cancellation? Christian/Catholic parents groups who watched the advance preview on YouTube were outraged by Ms. Perry's ugly dress. Not because it was ugly but becausae they found it to be too racy for their poor impressionable children's eyes. Because an ugly dress will of course always make 4 year olds ask about hardcore sex.
This story was broken in the Wall Street Journal, but that's not where I discovered it. I learned of this mindfuckingly brainhurting idiocy through the Huffington Post's link to this whackadoodle Catholic blog. The ignorance in the comments is, while in no way surprising coming from these sorts, staggering in the level of willful miseducation about simple facts.
The first few comments were applauding the censorship, but then someone pointed out something truly evil about the woman interviewing Perry in this YouTube video.
That video was embedded on the blog entry, presumably in a futile effort to make Perry terrifying to Christians, when she already terrifies sane people everywhere.
But the true isidiousness railed against in the comments, is that the interviewer is.... *GASP!!!* wearing inverted cross earrings.
I'm in way too much pain to day to let sleeping braind lie, so I posted the following as a comment. I got a little ranty of course, as I am often wont to do, but hey, there is immense joy in teaching deeply religious people just how little they actually know about their faith.
***
Um..... you people are blitheringly brain-hurtingly misinformed. About a great many things. First of all, complaining about Katy Perry's ugly as all hell but hardly racy or revealing dress makes you look so prudish even the Pope would tell you to relax a bit.
Secondly, all of you twonks whining about the interviewer wearing inverted cross earrings? Guess what folks?
THAT IS NOT A SATANIC SYMBOL!!!
If any of you people had paid attention in Sunday school, you would probably realize that the inverted cross is actually the personal trademark of Saint Peter, the first Pope, and one of the most revered figures in Catholic lore. When Peter was martyred by crucifixion he was said to have requested to be crucified upside down because he didn't feel worthy of dying the same way as Jesus. As a result, many dyed-in-the-wool Catholics actually consider the inverted cross to be a more acceptable thing to attach to your tacky jewelry than a regular right-way-up one. By wearing an upside-down cross, Satanists are unwittingly showing humility and unworthiness before Christ. That makes about as much sense as a neo-Nazi sticking it to the Jews by swearing off pork for life.
This is the biggest problem with idiots like you whining and crying in Jesus' name about how awful this that or the other thing is; NONE OF YOU can apparently be bothered to actually READ and LEARN the actual historical and Biblical facts you use to justify ridiculously insane moral outrage.
For example, so many of you cling to the Leviticus quote, "If a man lies with a male as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them." (Leviticus 20:13), to justify hating gay people. But there are two serious flaws in this logic. First of all, at the time the Bible was first translated into English, the words "lie" and "lay" were NOT interchangable. Lay meant only to lay down, lie meant ONLY to lie, to be dishonest. Lie did not come to have it's double-meaning until the Great Depression when street slang became the popular vernacular. This is not opinion or conjecture, it is proven historical fact. Therefore the quote is about dishonesty. Remembering that women were considered property and not people, the quote is basically the Bible version of "bros before hos".
Second of all, and more important, while so many falsely adhere fervantly to this misinformed idea of what that Leviticus quote means, they completely ignore several others as if they don't exist. For example.
"For everyone who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death. He has cursed his father or his mother. His blood shall be upon him." (Leviticus 20:9)
How many of you have murdered your children for telling you to buzz off when they hit their tennage rebellious phase? Show of hands? Anyone? Yeah that's what I thought.
"Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves. You may also buy some of the temporary residents living among you and members of their clans born in your country, and they will become your property." (Leviticus 25:44-45)
That folks, is the exact quote white folks once used to insist slavery was a God-Given right that Lincoln had no business revoking. But none of you would DARE demand it be adhered to today. At least not publicly.
"Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard." (Leviticus 19:27)
Any of you men out there beg God's forgiveness for daring to realize sideburns just do NOT look good?
"...and the swine, though it divides the hoof, having cloven hooves, yet does not chew the cud, is unclean to you." (Leviticus 11:7)
How many of you had bacon this morning? Yep, you're going straight to hell heathen.
"...do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear material woven of two kinds of material." (Leviticus 19:19)
Check the labels on your clothing. Chances are you violated this Biblical law without even knowing.
Oh but wait, here's the best one. Any of you like eating shrimp or scallops? Lobster or crab on special occasions? Guess what folks, if gays are going to hell for being gay, you're going to hell for eating at Long John Silver's.
"But all in the seas or in the rivers that do not have fins and scales, all that move in the water or any living thing which is in the water, they are an abomination to you." (Leviticus 11:10)
"They (shellfish) shall be an abomination to you; you shall not eat their flesh, but you shall regard their carcasses as an abomination." (Leviticus 11:11)
"Whatever in the water does not have fins or scales; that shall be an abomination to you." (Leviticus 11:12)
Katy Perry's dress is a non-issue to anyone mature and intelligent enough to realize kids are generally NOT idiots until you teach them to be. And all the complaints about the inverted cross earrings prove how painfully uneducated about your own bloody religion you folks are. Do yourselves a favor. Actually sit down and READ THE BIBLE. Not just selected passages, but the entire book, front to back, every page, every word. You might be terribly surprised by the reality of it. And if you pick and choose which rules you follow and which you ignore, you are a hypocrite, plain and simple.
So how about instead of whining about Katy Perry's ugly dress, go do something worthwhile, like volunteer at a soup kitchen.
***
And no my dear ones, I'm not naive enough to believe this lesson in actual fact will affect any of the idiots, nor that my comment will even last an hour at most before being deleted, but sometimes when I'm having really bad Fibromyalgia flareups and want to curl up sobbing, it's cathaqrtic and helps me cope with the pain to shake their trees a little. With apologies to Sir Peter Gabriel.
And it worked, I certainly do feel a little better knowing that once again, a fat hermaqphrodite Pagaen sex magick Shaman knows more about Christianity/Catholicism than the loud wannabe Christians/Catholics who bellow hate and ignorance making the REAL ones who live and let live, educate themselves, and accept me just fine as I am look bad by association.
8/25/2010
Time Off To Heal
TRIGGER WARNING!!!
I won't be posting diaries for awhile folks. I had an incident last night while I was out getting Fran some smoke and I need some healing time.
A little teenage punk ran past me last night, screamed "Fat fucking dyke!!!", slashed at my boobs then ran off laughing.
Left Breast
Right Breast
And no, I did not bother with either the hospital or the police. My local hospital, Surrey Memorial, has NEVER treated me seriously or respectfully and I've no faith in prompt treatment, and the local police did sweet fuck all on Halloween '08 when I was sexually assaulted so I doubt they'd do sweet fuck all now. Fran has been keeping them clean, disinfected and bandaged with the med supplies left over from last year's pilonidal cyst removal, so I'll be fine, but I need a few days to just veg.
If it makes anyone feel better, the punk didn't get far before the local hookers Fran and I look out for intercepted him and beat him up for me, so justice was served. Moreso than the police'd have ever done.
Cheers all!
I won't be posting diaries for awhile folks. I had an incident last night while I was out getting Fran some smoke and I need some healing time.
A little teenage punk ran past me last night, screamed "Fat fucking dyke!!!", slashed at my boobs then ran off laughing.
Left Breast
Right Breast
And no, I did not bother with either the hospital or the police. My local hospital, Surrey Memorial, has NEVER treated me seriously or respectfully and I've no faith in prompt treatment, and the local police did sweet fuck all on Halloween '08 when I was sexually assaulted so I doubt they'd do sweet fuck all now. Fran has been keeping them clean, disinfected and bandaged with the med supplies left over from last year's pilonidal cyst removal, so I'll be fine, but I need a few days to just veg.
If it makes anyone feel better, the punk didn't get far before the local hookers Fran and I look out for intercepted him and beat him up for me, so justice was served. Moreso than the police'd have ever done.
Cheers all!
8/20/2010
Feeling a Little Hopeful At Last
Crossposted on Pam's House Blend
Before I begin, please read these older blogs I wrote in January for some background on my ongoing legal drama.
Consider Me Reminded
Giving Up Is Sometimes Survival
Now, after I had written both of those, I found out at my preliminary hearing I was in fact by LAW in Canada, NOT allowed to enter a Guilty plea if I did not believe I was in any way guilty of the crime I was charged with. After telling the Duty Counsel and the Justice Of The Peace my story and why I was pleading guilty, they informed me that by admitting that I did not feel I actually WAS guilty they refused to accept my plea. They understood why I wanted to, but assured me that Jail Time was NEVER a likely sentence for a minor shoplifting offense and that it would be tantamount to lying under oath. In tears I plead Not Guilty at the reccommendation of a judge and an agent of the crown whose job it was to prosecute criminals.
So yesterday, August 19th, was my trial date. I was apprehensive. My treatment at the Port Coquitlam court in January had not left me feeling terribly reassured in the fairness of the Legal System, and I had still been unable to re-locate my witnesses from the Safeway Parking lot.
And then the Judge called me Miss. He made it a point to clarify with me what titles and pronouns were appropriate for me, and on the rare occasion he fucked up a pronoun he caught himself and immediately apologised. While he did at times seem a little condescending in his need to explain every single procedure to me, he was otherwise bending over backwards to be accepting and supportive.
That alone gave me hope. But that's not all.
Only one of the security gaurds involved in the original incident in June of 09 showed up. The one who made the transphobic statements didn't attend, and the one who did had gone out of his way to exclude any mention of him from his official report.
And the gentleman who DID show up stumbled badly. He had trouble remembering details without his notes. He fumbled badly at EVERY turn. And I caught him in BLATANT lies that even the Judge scolded him for. Among the biggest lies was, when asked by the crown about my emotional state, he claimed I was neither emotional nor upset nor crying, but he felt I was angry and wanted to hurt him.
There was just one problem with that claim. And when it came time for me to cross-examine him with my own questions, (I can't afford a lawyer nor do petty shoplifting offenses qualify for legal aid), I nailed him with his own evidence.
This is the photo the LPO took the day of the false arrest. It was submitted into evidence months before the trial. Holding my copy of it, I asked Iyer, the LPO, to confirm his contention that I was neither crying nor emotional but simply angry I'd been "caught". He stuck to his story.
So I asked the Judge to look at my eyes in the photo and tell me what he saw.
The Judge said he saw, as this close-up shows, "Red puffy eyes, clear evidence of recent or current crying, and tears visible on my cheek. As it's a scan of a photocopy of a print-out the tears may not be fully visible here, but the Judge saw them clearly enough on his copy.
When the Judge asked him to explain why his own photographic evidence contradicted his memory of events, Iyer was at a loss, and hung his head mumbling a vague excuse about not remembering.
The trial ran long and the Court neared closing time, so I unfortunately had to have an adjournment until October, the earliest possible date in which the Crown Prosecutor could be free to resume trying my case. So sadly the ordeal isn't over yet.
However while I'm not going to jinx anything by saying this might be a slam-dunk, I AM very hopeful right now for a number of reasons.
- Iyer was caught in enough inconsistancies and outright lies that even the Judge scolded him.
- Despite my best efforts to maintain my composure while explaining my juvey rapes to the court as my reason for going out of my way to NOT break the law as I would rather die than go through that ever again, the Judge could see the tears and emotion I was fighting to NOT show and expressed sensitivity and understanding to it.
- The Crown, whose job it is to prosecute and convict me, when going over the adjournment with me and asking me about my dumpster-diving for restaurant leftovers, expressed far more concern about whether there were aid resources I could look into to survive better than garbage food than about any details of the case.
Get that last one folks? The GUY WHOSE JOB IT IS TO CONVICT ME was more concerned about my health and living situation than about discussing the actual trial.
As I said, I won't jinx anything by garaunteeing an outcome, but I feel very hopeful right now. Things SEEM to be leaning in my favour. And it gives me hope that there are places in the legal system where a trans/is woman like me can and will be respected, treated kindly, and taken seriously.
And hope is a very wonderful feeling. And I feel it so rarely that I need to share it. I hope that the hope I'm feeling right now might creep into the hearts of all my Trans Sisters and brothers. Hope that sometimes, people in Authority ARE capable of accepting and respecting us, and sometimes, just sometimes, the truth actually matters when it comes to our lives.
I'd rather share hope than misery. So the buffet is open brothers and sisters! Help yourselves! And wish me luck come October that this thing will finally end and I can move on with my life.
Before I begin, please read these older blogs I wrote in January for some background on my ongoing legal drama.
Consider Me Reminded
Giving Up Is Sometimes Survival
Now, after I had written both of those, I found out at my preliminary hearing I was in fact by LAW in Canada, NOT allowed to enter a Guilty plea if I did not believe I was in any way guilty of the crime I was charged with. After telling the Duty Counsel and the Justice Of The Peace my story and why I was pleading guilty, they informed me that by admitting that I did not feel I actually WAS guilty they refused to accept my plea. They understood why I wanted to, but assured me that Jail Time was NEVER a likely sentence for a minor shoplifting offense and that it would be tantamount to lying under oath. In tears I plead Not Guilty at the reccommendation of a judge and an agent of the crown whose job it was to prosecute criminals.
So yesterday, August 19th, was my trial date. I was apprehensive. My treatment at the Port Coquitlam court in January had not left me feeling terribly reassured in the fairness of the Legal System, and I had still been unable to re-locate my witnesses from the Safeway Parking lot.
And then the Judge called me Miss. He made it a point to clarify with me what titles and pronouns were appropriate for me, and on the rare occasion he fucked up a pronoun he caught himself and immediately apologised. While he did at times seem a little condescending in his need to explain every single procedure to me, he was otherwise bending over backwards to be accepting and supportive.
That alone gave me hope. But that's not all.
Only one of the security gaurds involved in the original incident in June of 09 showed up. The one who made the transphobic statements didn't attend, and the one who did had gone out of his way to exclude any mention of him from his official report.
And the gentleman who DID show up stumbled badly. He had trouble remembering details without his notes. He fumbled badly at EVERY turn. And I caught him in BLATANT lies that even the Judge scolded him for. Among the biggest lies was, when asked by the crown about my emotional state, he claimed I was neither emotional nor upset nor crying, but he felt I was angry and wanted to hurt him.
There was just one problem with that claim. And when it came time for me to cross-examine him with my own questions, (I can't afford a lawyer nor do petty shoplifting offenses qualify for legal aid), I nailed him with his own evidence.
This is the photo the LPO took the day of the false arrest. It was submitted into evidence months before the trial. Holding my copy of it, I asked Iyer, the LPO, to confirm his contention that I was neither crying nor emotional but simply angry I'd been "caught". He stuck to his story.
So I asked the Judge to look at my eyes in the photo and tell me what he saw.
The Judge said he saw, as this close-up shows, "Red puffy eyes, clear evidence of recent or current crying, and tears visible on my cheek. As it's a scan of a photocopy of a print-out the tears may not be fully visible here, but the Judge saw them clearly enough on his copy.
When the Judge asked him to explain why his own photographic evidence contradicted his memory of events, Iyer was at a loss, and hung his head mumbling a vague excuse about not remembering.
The trial ran long and the Court neared closing time, so I unfortunately had to have an adjournment until October, the earliest possible date in which the Crown Prosecutor could be free to resume trying my case. So sadly the ordeal isn't over yet.
However while I'm not going to jinx anything by saying this might be a slam-dunk, I AM very hopeful right now for a number of reasons.
- Iyer was caught in enough inconsistancies and outright lies that even the Judge scolded him.
- Despite my best efforts to maintain my composure while explaining my juvey rapes to the court as my reason for going out of my way to NOT break the law as I would rather die than go through that ever again, the Judge could see the tears and emotion I was fighting to NOT show and expressed sensitivity and understanding to it.
- The Crown, whose job it is to prosecute and convict me, when going over the adjournment with me and asking me about my dumpster-diving for restaurant leftovers, expressed far more concern about whether there were aid resources I could look into to survive better than garbage food than about any details of the case.
Get that last one folks? The GUY WHOSE JOB IT IS TO CONVICT ME was more concerned about my health and living situation than about discussing the actual trial.
As I said, I won't jinx anything by garaunteeing an outcome, but I feel very hopeful right now. Things SEEM to be leaning in my favour. And it gives me hope that there are places in the legal system where a trans/is woman like me can and will be respected, treated kindly, and taken seriously.
And hope is a very wonderful feeling. And I feel it so rarely that I need to share it. I hope that the hope I'm feeling right now might creep into the hearts of all my Trans Sisters and brothers. Hope that sometimes, people in Authority ARE capable of accepting and respecting us, and sometimes, just sometimes, the truth actually matters when it comes to our lives.
I'd rather share hope than misery. So the buffet is open brothers and sisters! Help yourselves! And wish me luck come October that this thing will finally end and I can move on with my life.
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