Showing posts with label Douchebags. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Douchebags. Show all posts

10/23/2011

A Dissertation on the Logic Processing Levels in the Average Douchebag

Circular Douchebag Logic 101;

Any woman who won't fuck me must be a lesbo, because there is no other rational reason why she could refuse a chance to touch my penis. No healthy hetero woman can resist my manly pheremones and my penis of wondrous awe, unless she is DJ'ing at a pussy party.

Conversely

Women are ONLY lesbos BECAUSE they have not touched my penis, for my penis is magical and homo-curative. If these women gave in to logic and nature, they would touch my amazing penis and never look at another vagina as long as they live.

Further still

Any lesbo who foolishly insists she really is a lesbo and refuses the wonders of my magical penis is only a lesbo because she is so fat and ugly that no man will touch her, forcing her to turn to other fat ugly women. I will however throw her a pity fuck if she comes to her senses, because I'm cool like that.

Finally

The lesbo status of any woman refusing my magic penis is immutable and inarguable, for it is plainly obvious that my magic penis is so awesome and magnificent that were these women heterosexual their every instinct would cause them to impale themselves upon it immediately.

A dissertation on the mental deformity of function posessed by 60% of all men on the internet.

It is officially wired into the dna of roughly 60% of all men who use the internet; that the words "Lesbian" and "No" are always interpreted as code. The remaining 40% of men of course, hear lesbian and think "Ah rats, she's not into dudes, oh well!". They hear "no" and think "Well, can't blame a guy for trying right? You have a lovely day Miss!".

These are not the men this is describing.

To the 60%, referred to in scientific parlance as either "Massive cockmaggots" or simply "HNG's", these otherwise simple terms do not mean what they mean.

Whereas to normal, properly functioning brains NOT being deprived of blood flow by permanent erectile states, "Lesbian" means "Romantically and sexually attracted only to other women", and "No" means simply "No", the genetic code of the typical HING by it's naturally low intelligence and respect levels, is incapable of interpreting these two words correctly. Instead, they receive a specific misinterpretation from their undernourished brains, which works as follows;

Lesbian means either;
- Until I am cured by your magical penis (™ & ©), because I am only a lesbian because some big scary man hurt me and in my fear and confusion I turned foolishly to women, and if I just give you a chance you'll show me how much I really want a man
- I'm only SAYING I'm a lesbian to weed out pussy men not strong-willed enougfh to push me into admitting it's a lie, because only a strong forceful man like you is good enough for me. No matter how much I insist I really am a lesbian, it's only a test to see how determined you are, and if you just keep at it, eventually you will win my love because no woman ever really prefers pissy to your awesome magical penis (™ & ©).

No simply means;
- Yes you big silly, I'm only saying no because it's how I was raised, there's no possible way I could be telling the truth when I say I don't want your awesome magical penis (™ & ©) because, I mean, come on! It's an awesome magical penis! How could I possibly be serious about declining?

No amount of repetition of the actual definitions will ever be successful in counteracting this hardwired misinterpretation. The only effective treatment of this sad mental deformity is to block the HNG from being able to contact you. Or to tell them you have a penis and it is bigger than theirs.

2/28/2011

This Is VERY Simple

UPDATE Justin no longer works at Change.org and Shelby Knox has personally apologised to me for the ridiculous way in which he treated me. I consider the issue resolved.

Petitions by Change.org|Start a Petition »


Change.org Community Manager "Justin" has TWICE deleted my account from Change.org and deleted comments I posted. Why? Because as a Rape Survivor I stood up to crude offensive rape apologist men in comments threads on Change.org. I double checked, every misogynist sexist "Oh rape isn't so bad you bitches probably liked it get over yourselves" type comment I responded to remains online, unedited, uncensored, and clearly not deleted. My justifiably angry "You are a hateful idiot and your disgusting neanderthal opinion of rape survivors is disgusting as are you" replies all are deleted.

Justin's explanation for censoring me amounted to a condescending "There there little lady, we can't have wimmins posting angry profane comments to our lil ole activism site, even if that big ole man is being a bit douchey."

So click that button, sign that petition while it still exists because I'm DAMN sure Justin will delete it. He's proven he's a selective activist, and a man who will happily punish the victim if she stands up for herself.

Sign it before it's gone.